


A Walk Through Hell

by King Baka (kingbaka22)



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, F/M, Romance, Thriller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 19:16:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8502157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingbaka22/pseuds/King%20Baka
Summary: Inuyasha and Kagome walk through hell.  While this is technically a figure of speech, it is doubtful that our heroes would appreciate the difference.  Will they be able to escape their torments?  And if so, will they emerge from their trials unscathed, or will the burden of their actions prove too much to bear?





	1. Ensnared

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Inuyasha. I will make no money from this fic; I write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of my readers. 
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING: This story is rated MA for graphic violence, rape (not described explicitly) and character death (also not described explicitly). Please do not read unless you are confident that you can handle the subject matter. This story is very intense. 
> 
> A/N – This takes place in the later part of the manga, after Kikyou’s final death but before Kagome learns from Hitomiko that her spiritual power is being partially sealed, and definitely before Magatsuhi actually seals the power which she had use of previously. Also, Kagome no longer has any jewel shards at this point. I’ve been using the manga as my canon reference almost exclusively, so this will be a manga-only story.

In deep darkness, an ancient evil stirred.  It did not know how long it had slept; time was an inconsequential thing.  It woke when prey wandered into its lair, fed, and then returned to slumber until the next opportunity to quench its insatiable hunger. 

 

Their souls glowed brightly in the creature’s eye, inciting a ravenous burn.  It was seldom blessed with such a feast.  But there was reason for caution.  The girl possessing the largest, most brilliant soul, was a miko.  The creature had dealt with her kind before.  Some were strong, most were not, but long ago one had nearly succeeded in destroying it before eventually succumbing to mortal weakness.  This girl, however, was nowhere near the warrior that mighty woman of old had been.  Though her spiritual aura was powerful, it was also untested and untrained.  She would fall, likely without ever realizing her true peril. 

 

Still, she was a miko and therefore inherently dangerous.  She was also the only member of the group who posed any threat at all.  She would be the first victim.  Alone in the darkness, she would break, granting her soul the most exquisite flavor.  And once the miko had been consumed, her companions would likewise be ensnared and devoured.  It was clear that these people had formed strong bonds, a fact which would prove to be their undoing.  The bonds were strong, but not strong enough to save them.  Nevertheless, their desire to save the miko would lead them directly to their own doom. 

 

But first, it was time to make the miko walk through hell. 

 

* * *

 

The storm was both sudden and violent.  Appearing out of the northeast, it gave even Inuyasha’s sensitive nose no more than ten or fifteen minutes of warning, not nearly enough time to backtrack to the last human settlement they’d visited or seek out a new one.  Fortunately, the road on which the group was currently traveling skirted along the base of a small mountain range.  Inuyasha led them quickly toward the mountains, seeking and finding shelter in the form of a large, relatively dry cave only a short distance up one of the slopes.  As it turned out, the hanyou was the sole member of the group to be touched by the rain, and only because he didn’t make it back in time from his solo mission to gather firewood for the evening.  Kagome was waiting for him with towels and blankets when he returned, and though he groused that he wasn’t a ‘weak human’ and could handle a little rain, he didn’t stop her from fussing over him. 

 

They built the fire near the cave entrance and kept it going long enough to cook a meal from Kagome’s supplies and dry Inuyasha’s kosode and suikan.  Then they put it out, in order to avoid heating the rock above them and letting too much smoke into the cave.  The interior of the cave wasn’t warm, per se, but it was at least sheltered from the elements.  Every one of them had slept in far worse arrangements before.  Ensconced in sleeping rolls and blankets, the weary travelers nodded off to sleep one after the other. 

 

* * *

 

Kagome woke with a start, though she couldn’t immediately figure out what had roused her.  The soft sounds of her friends breathing in their sleep overlaid the pitter-patter of gentle rainfall outside.  It sounded like the thunderstorm had long since abated, though the clouds were not yet finished releasing their accumulated moisture.  Overall, nothing seemed in the least bit out of the ordinary.  Shrugging, she decided that she must have heard an animal in the distance and snuggled back into her sleeping bag to try to catch some more shuteye before the sky started to lighten. 

 

But sleep would not come.  Something pulled at her consciousness, nagging her, refusing to let her find peace.  Finally she sat up with a scowl, running a hand over her face in frustration.  Damn her overactive imagination!  She was not in the mood for this.  Inuyasha would want them to be on the move bright and early in order to make up for the time the storm had cost them, and if she was tired from lack of sleep, it would make for a most unpleasant day.  Speaking of the hanyou, Kagome glanced over to where he had settled the previous evening, and found him still sitting in the exact same position, cross-legged with Tetsusaiga propped up against his shoulder and his arms wrapped around the beloved weapon.  She was mildly surprised to see that her movements had not roused him, as he was normally very sensitive to that sort of thing.  Rather, he appeared to be genuinely sleeping, though not heavily.  The fact that Inuyasha was so relaxed should be proof enough that there was nothing dangerous anywhere near this cave. 

 

So why couldn’t she sleep?  Sometimes thoughts of her companions and their various troubles kept her awake, but that wasn’t the case tonight.  This was something else.  Her skin was somewhat clammy, and no amount of deep breathing would slow her slightly elevated heartbeat.  She felt in the most innate manner that something was very wrong here, but all of her senses told her that she was imagining things.  Perhaps she was.  She did feel fairly warm; maybe she had a mild fever?  Removing her pajama bottoms helped her cool down, but not enough.  Careful not to disturb Shippou, she sat up and rummaged through her backpack until she found her target—a loose-fitting, yellow short-sleeved blouse which she never wore but which she had packed for just such an occasion.  Then she ducked back into the sleeping bag and practically sighed in relief at shedding the hot flannel pajama top.  Much more comfortable now, Kagome rolled onto her side and attempted to go back to sleep. 

 

Just as she was beginning to nod off, the feeling of wrongness returned full-force.  This time, however, there was a definite directional element which she hadn’t felt before.  Raising herself onto her elbows, she gazed searchingly toward the back of the cave, the apparent source of the strange sensation.  She could definitely see something there, though not with her physical eyes.  It was more like her spiritual senses were enabling her to see something through the rock.  It was just a vague outline, but certainly not a figment of her imagination. 

 

Deciding to take a closer look, Kagome rolled out of the bag and stood before remembering that all she had on below the waist was her underwear.  Flushing, she swiftly slipped on the closest non-flannel article of clothing she could get her hands on, which happened to be her school uniform skirt.  The episode left her feeling fairly foolish, but at least none of her companions seemed to have witnessed it, especially the two adult males.  She also slipped on her socks and loafers, since the cave floor would be rough on her bare feet.  Then she tip-toed past her companions and deeper into the cave.  It didn’t go much deeper than where Inuyasha sat, maybe another half-dozen meters or so.  The nearly full moon outside provided enough light to avoid walking into a wall or tripping on a protrusion of rock, but again, it wasn’t what her physical eyes could see that interested her. 

 

A hazy form undulated within the rock, its faint glow pulsing rhythmically, almost like a heartbeat.  The best way Kagome could describe it was to say it appeared similar to the amorphous lights she saw behind her eyelids if she looked at something really bright for too long.  But it was impossible to tell whether the source was actually deep within the mountain or just on the other side of a thin wall of rock.  Nevertheless, there was something deeply seductive about the small wonder, and as its pulse gradually quickened, she found herself staring at it unblinkingly.  She leaned forward, eyes misting over, her fingers poised to bestow a loving caress upon the rock from whence the captivating glow emanated. 

 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

 

Those soft-spoken words caused a violent shudder to ripple through Kagome in an instant, from the bottom of her feet to top of her head.  She stifled a scream as she spun around to face the intruder, her hand clenched in an angry fist against her chest.  She barely restrained her ire, her logical mind grappling with the profoundly irrational nature of her desire to ‘osuwari’ Inuyasha about a hundred times.  For accidentally scaring her?  Even on her worst days, she wasn’t that temperamental.  But though her mind was beginning to recover from its previous befuddlement, she was still not coherent enough to intelligently respond to the hanyou’s question or his expectant gaze. 

 

“Wh-what?” she stuttered, earning a frown from her companion, who reached up and held his hand against her forehead for a moment. 

 

“I asked you what the hell you were doing back here,” he repeated.  “You feel a little warm.  Get back to bed and rest.  Can’t have you getting sick on me.” 

 

The surprising heat of Inuyasha’s palm against her skin quickly roused Kagome back to full alertness.  It wasn’t often that he initiated casual physical contact like that.  One could say that he’d actually had a purpose, namely gauging her temperature, but it was still a fairly intimate gesture for him.  She chalked it up to it being just the two of them here, with no other observers for him to be embarrassed about.  His words did rain on her parade a bit, but there hadn’t been any real bite to them and she could tell that he was just trying to hide his genuine concern.  Earlier in their journey, he probably would have referred to her as his ‘shard detector,’ which would have hurt to hear.  She would have responded with indignant anger as a defense, likely resulting in an ‘osuwari’ and hard feelings on both sides.  So she was very glad that their relationship had evolved to be a little more open now. 

 

But his first question gnawed at her.  What the hell _was_ she doing back here?  Letting some mysterious glowing light hypnotize her?  That sounded about right.  A glance over her shoulder confirmed what she already suspected, that the light was gone.  Sighing miserably, she put her hand to her own forehead.  _Maybe I really am seeing things._   At this point, she honestly hoped so.  Having a mild hallucination due to a fever was preferable to the alternative, that some strange entity was out to get them.  Didn’t they run into enough trouble already? 

 

“Oi, Kagome.  You okay?” 

 

She must have seemed quite out of it, as Inuyasha stood glaring at her with his arms crossed over his chest, no longer even bothering to try to conceal his concern.  She smiled and opened her mouth to reassure him, but a sudden sense of vertigo had her world spinning around her and caused her to stumble backward.  Inuyasha reached out to steady her, but she was already lurching uncontrollably toward a moderate, headache-inducing collision with the back wall of the cave. 

 

Or at least, that’s what should have happened.  Instead, she felt only an inescapable void behind her, destroying what little balance she still possessed as she flailed her arms futilely for purchase.  She met Inuyasha’s alarmed golden gaze for a fraction of a second before her feet backpedaled into empty air, and she toppled into the abyss.  As utter blackness rose up around her on all sides, she stared hopefully at the rapidly shrinking opening above her, praying to see a flash of red and silver silhouetted against the moonlight.  Then the wall closed, blocking out all light and quashing even that humble hope.  She was alone, falling, in absolute darkness.  Her consciousness wavered, and she absently wondered if she would pass out and never wake again.  But then her faculties returned to her, leaving only a rush of adrenaline, and pure panic coursing through her veins. 

 

Her petrified scream was cut off by sudden immersion in shockingly cold water.  A strong current pulled her sideways, disorienting her as she sank deeper.  She didn’t snap out of her stunned stupor until her feet finally touched solid riverbed.  Already critically low on air, she pushed off the bottom and kicked desperately toward the surface.  It seemed to take an inordinately long time, but in reality it was probably only a couple seconds and a span of three or four meters.  Finally breaking the surface and inhaling that first blessed breath of air was an incredible experience, at least until the rushing water pulled her under again.  She kicked to the surface once more, a much shorter distance this time, and tried to make sense of her volatile surroundings. 

 

She was obviously in a subterranean river running beneath the mountains.  She was truly lucky to have landed here rather than on hard rock, but Kagome didn’t feel very fortunate to be borne irresistibly along in this place where no light could penetrate.  Or at least, no light visible to the human eye.  She ardently wished that were not the case, as being able to see where she was going and what was around her would make this miserable experience much less terrifying.  As it was, she could only rely on her ears to tell her if there were any sharp rocks or waterfalls ahead.  Not that her eyesight would necessarily allow her to avoid any such obstacles; moving in any direction except the one dictated by the river was going to be challenging indeed.  She didn’t dare try to swim to one side in search of a bank.  She had no idea how wide the river was, and if she exhausted herself fighting the current only to run into an unclimbable cave wall, the results could be disastrous.  And even if she did manage to pull herself onto dry land, what then?  She would still be stuck in pitch blackness, probably with whatever enemy had caused her to tumble into this cavern in the first place. 

 

The bottom line: she feared the darkness more than she feared this river.  There was a good chance that the waters would carry her free of the mountain, to a place where she could actually see and defend herself, and more easily link up with her friends.  It seemed like her best option.  There were dangers of course, chief among them the possibility of the aforementioned obstacles injuring or even killing her.  The temperature of the water was also a factor, though it was not as cold as she originally thought and she knew she could stand it for some time.  Given the dangers associated with attempting to exit the river and find a way out by land, she decided to take a chance and see where it carried her. 

 

Within a few minutes, the river confirmed her choice to be a good one, so far at least.  The current slowed noticeably, though it still moved at a fairly rapid pace.  The limited information her auditory senses could ascertain indicated that the span had widened as well.  She took an experimental duck below the surface and found that the bottom was now only a half meter below her feet.  The change in circumstances having taken the edge off of her panic, she concentrated on floating in the current, using as little energy as possible.  It was still hard work, but she found that with a full lungful of air her body was somewhat buoyant.  She also wasn’t a teenage lump of baby fat anymore; she had some lean muscle to her now, courtesy of months of journeying through feudal Japan.  Still, she hoped she wouldn’t have to keep this up for more than a few hours. 

 

She had no idea how long it actually took to reach the outside world, as it was impossible to keep track of time.  But that beautiful moon surrounded by twinkling stars was one of the most glorious sights she had ever beheld.  It illuminated a sandy riverbank off to her right, which she immediately began paddling toward.  The swim was grueling, an exercise in endurance, and she was panting heavily by the time her feet finally found purchase on the soft riverbed below.  She crawled slowly onto the bank on her hands and knees, then flopped over onto her back, her lungs heaving with exertion.  As her heartbeat and breathing slowed to normal, she felt fatigue settle over her, and allowed herself to slip into an exhausted sleep. 

 

* * *

 

It happened so fast.  One moment he was talking to Kagome, trying to figure out whether there was something wrong with her without revealing his concern.  In the next, she stumbled and he reached out to steady her.  He would have caught her, but at the last instant she seemed to fall back with unnatural speed, as if pulled by some unseen force, and his fingers closed around empty air.  His eyes widened in alarm as a great black abyss opened behind her, its foul presence swelling across the cave wall.  Their gazes met ever so briefly, and he saw the fear in her eyes as she tumbled over the precipice.  And finally, just as quickly as it appeared, the mysterious abyss began to fade, seeming to recede into itself from the edges to the center. 

 

Enhanced reflexes or no, if there had been any hint of hesitation in Inuyasha, his attempted pursuit would have ended in a swift and painful collision with a solid cave wall.  Fortunately, the hanyou did not allow himself to ponder his actions for even a moment.  Something had taken Kagome away from him.  And no matter the destination, whether it be hell or some kind of hell on earth, he would follow. 

 

Inuyasha charged headlong into the void, barely slipping all of his body inside before the entrance closed behind him.  He found himself floating in empty space, which nevertheless contained breathable air.  Still, he could immediately tell that his presence was not part of their mysterious enemy’s plan.  The air around him heated in fury, a malevolent aura crackling angrily against his skin, attempting to drive him back.  But the realization that their adversary feared him only strengthened his resolve to push through the resistance.  Whoever or whatever this thing was, it wanted to isolate Kagome and deal with her while she was alone.  He wasn’t going to let that happen. 

 

“You hear me, you bastard!  You wanna get to Kagome, you gotta go through me first!” 

 

The enemy redoubled its efforts, but Inuyasha held firm.  There was nothing to stand on in this strange space, but the strength of an iron will provided all the foothold he needed.  Then, abruptly, the great force applied by the foreign aura changed direction entirely.  Perhaps their adversary had realized that attempting to push him back was futile.  Instead, what felt like an impenetrable wall of energy slammed into Inuyasha from the side.  Caught off guard, the hanyou could muster no resistance as he was driven along against his will, away from Kagome.  Gravity returned in a rush, sending him plummeting into the real world once more.  He blinked several times before realizing that there was nothing wrong with his vision.  As sharp as his eyesight was, even he couldn’t see in total darkness.  He doubted that this cavern had ever seen the light of day.  His consciousness wavered for a moment as he fell, but the spell passed quickly.  After that, there was nothing to do except right himself in mid-air, bend his knees, and pray that he didn’t land on something sharp. 

 

Only years of practice at landing from great heights saved his body from significant damage during the jarring impact.  He managed to lurch into a roll, further dissipating his momentum.  When he finally stopped moving, he stood gingerly and performed a quick mental inventory to make sure he didn’t have any broken bones.  Fortunately he did not, but that still left him standing in total darkness with no idea where Kagome was or how to get to her.  The air smelled stale, as though decades had passed with little to no circulation.  Most importantly, Kagome’s scent was nowhere to be found.  He had to move on, but that meant walking until he hit a wall, and then feeling his way around until he came across a tunnel.  In other words, a big waste of time, time which Kagome might not have.  _Damn, where’s that fox runt when you need him?_   Shippou would likely be quivering in fear inside his suikan right now, but his kitsune-bi would at least provide some light. 

 

Thinking of Shippou gave Inuyasha an idea.  He couldn’t manipulate his youki at will like the kitsune or his half-brother could, but his youki did manifest itself in some of his attacks.  He didn’t dare employ Hijin Ketsusou lest he accidentally start a cave in, but a slash of Sankon Tetsusou into empty air might provide fleeting illumination.  It wasn’t much, as it turned out, but it was enough for the sharp-eyed hanyou to catch a glimpse of his surroundings.  After repeating the attack a few times in all directions, he could conclusively state both that he was in some kind of cavern, and that there was only one tunnel leading out.  The ceiling was made of solid rock, so he had undoubtedly fallen through the same type of portal that Kagome had been pulled through.  One could say that they had also fallen right into the enemy’s trap, but he wasn’t even supposed to have made it this far, and that was an encouraging thought.  He had to find Kagome, and then they could defeat this bastard together.  _Until then…be safe, Kagome._

 

He moved through the tunnel as quickly as he dared, utilizing controlled bursts of youki to illuminate the way forward and then darting across that distance in the dark before repeating the process.  He suffered more than a few bumps and bruises, but he paid them no need.  It seemed to take hours, as the tunnel wound its way through the mountain, never traveling in one direction for long.  He seemed to choose a dead end almost every time the path split, further stoking his burgeoning frustration.  But eventually his nose caught the first trace of hope—the pungent scent of a colony of bats up ahead.  Soon there was enough natural light to see by, and moments later Inuyasha sprinted underneath the bustling colony and burst into the sunlight, shielding his face at its brightness.  The sun was only just beginning to peek over the eastern horizon, but after being in the dark for so long his eyes needed some time to adjust. 

 

Once they did, he gazed out over a great valley, dominated by a lush green plain spotted with small groves of trees.  From his vantage point several hundred meters above the valley floor, Inuyasha could see what appeared to be a human settlement off to the northeast, about a day’s walk from his current position.  A river flowed past the settlement, its northerly path tracing all the way from the mountain range, where it seemed to emerge from a giant hole in the rock.  Inuyasha immediately decided to work his way along the slopes until he reached the source of the river.  If water could exit the mountain there, then he could probably enter.  It seemed as good a place as any to start his search for Kagome, and if he spotted any other cave entrances along the way, he could check them out as well.  Hopefully she had somehow managed to find a way out of the mountain, but if not he had no problem going in after her. 

 

_Hang on, Kagome.  I’m coming._

 

* * *

 

Kagome woke with a groan, wet and shivering on the riverbank.  She peeled her cheek away from the dirt underneath her and lurched gingerly to her feet, grimacing as her body protested every movement.  Her sore muscles were feeling every moment of their nighttime exertions, but at least she was alive.  And she could see!  Day had not yet broken, but the pre-dawn light cast the eastern sky in a beautiful glow.  Once the sun came up, her clothes would dry and she would warm up.  In the meantime, she would try to figure out where she was and what to do now.  Picking her way somewhat clumsily up the bank, she stepped up onto solid, grass-covered earth and was met by a positively breathtaking sight. 

 

A verdant valley stretched as far as the eye could see, dotted with forests here and there.  The river flowed to the north and disappeared over the horizon, though from her vantage point that was only a handful of kilometers away at most.  Behind her the mountains loomed, the cavern from which the river flowed appearing as a great maw in the rock.  She had absolutely no intention of going back there.  Part of her wanted to just sit on the riverbank and wait for rescue, but she felt very exposed out here by herself.  She had nothing with her except the clothes on her back, which didn’t exactly cover her very well, consisting in grand total of underwear, her school uniform skirt, and a thin short-sleeved blouse.  She didn’t even have a bra, having gone to bed without one.  She at least had socks and loafers, but those were waterlogged now. 

 

Overall, she wasn’t exactly well prepared for inclement weather or a significant drop in temperature.  Nor did she have any shelter or food.  Her friends might not have any idea that she made it out of the mountains, so it could be a while before they thought to look in the valley behind the peaks.  In the worst case, she could be out here for a few days, which was a truly scary thought considering all of the unknowns surrounding her.  One thing she did know was that her friends would find her eventually.  She also had easy access to a source of fresh water, which was always the top priority for surviving in the wilderness.  She didn’t like drinking water without boiling it first, but she didn’t have any choice.  At least it was flowing rather than stagnant. 

 

Those two certainties made her feel much better about her situation.  Since human settlements in this time period tended to cluster around dependable water sources, she could also assume that there was a village on one of the banks of this river, probably within walking distance.  Given the unattractive alternative, Kagome decided to hike downstream and see what she could find.  Locating a village meant shelter and food, as well as protection from wild animals and youkai.  She could defend herself against the latter, but if a pack of wolves or another non-youkai predator found her, she was as good as kibble.  Humans could be distrustful of outsiders, but if she came across a village the chances were good that at least one person would be kind enough or feel enough pity to give her a meal and a place to stay.  People also tended to be reverent toward miko, so she could play that card if necessary.  And if her friends did come looking for her, they would probably stop at any settlements they spotted from the air to ask if anyone had seen her. 

 

Feeling confident in her decision, Kagome walked back down the bank and settled on some rocks to wait for the sun to rise.  She also removed her socks and shoes and laid them on another rock, knowing from experience that trekking around before drying them would be very bad for her feet.  Still shivering, but feeling optimistic about her chances of getting out of this mess alive, she settled in to wait. 

 

A couple hours later, she was ready to go.  The sun had mostly dried all of her clothes, especially her socks.  Her shoes were still a little damp, but they would have to do.  Climbing back up to the valley floor, she set off on her journey. 

 

* * *

 

The sun was almost halfway to its apex by the time Inuyasha finally made it down to the river.  He had stopped along the way to investigate a few tunnels, and had explored each one carefully, but none had seemed promising.  His instincts still pointed to the river as his best hope for finding Kagome.  He was disappointed to not discover her scent on immediate bank, but it was possible that she had emerged further downstream.  He decided to thoroughly search along the bank for a significant distance, then cross the span and work his way back along the other bank.  If that revealed nothing, he would head upriver and try his luck inside the mountain. 

 

He gave up on the west bank after about a kilometer, then crossed the river.  It was too wide to leap in a single bound, so he had to swim part of the way.  He wasn’t excited about it, especially in water this temperature, but he had always been a fairly decent natural swimmer courtesy of his inu heritage.  If anyone said that to his face, however—or made fun of his doggy paddle—there would be hell to pay.  He shook himself dry as best he could on the east bank, then climbed up to the valley floor. 

 

He nearly cried out in relief upon detecting Kagome’s scent, and inhaled several deep lungfuls just to savor her sweet natural fragrance.  Then he got to work.  Her scent trailed along the riverbank in both directions.  He suspected that she was moving downstream, but he traced her path back upstream just to make certain.  Sure enough, he found where she had climbed out of the river, and where she had slept.  He was momentarily irritated that she hadn’t just stayed put and waited for him, but from her perspective, her decision was understandable.  She probably wasn’t even aware that he had managed to fight his way through the portal right after her, and she couldn’t possibly have known that their enemy had somehow caused him to emerge from the mountain several kilometers away from her.  She was likely looking for a human settlement, which was a smart move.  If she kept going she would in fact come across one later today or early tomorrow, but he planned on catching up with her long before then. 

 

Even tracking her scent, he could move much more swiftly than human walking speed.  He ran for ten minutes or so, surely gaining on her rapidly.  Suddenly a cacophony of other scents assaulted his nose, and Kagome’s scent trail ended abruptly.  Skidding to a halt, he quickly backtracked as a cold knot of dread settled in his stomach. 

 

Humans.  Lots of them, all sweaty, dirty, and male.  Bandits most likely.  Inuyasha scrambled around, rapidly gathering olfactory information as he tried not to think about what these men would likely do to a pretty young girl like Kagome.  The tale of their scents provided some clarity.  There were two trails left by the men, both at an angle to the course of the river.  They had come to drink and then departed, apparently running into Kagome through some really terrible luck on her part.  On neither trail could he detect any trace of the miko’s scent, so they had obviously not carried her with them when they left. 

 

Moving closer to the riverbank, Inuyasha spotted a collection of footsteps and scents moving down to the water, which this time did include Kagome’s.  He tracked her to the river, his nostrils flaring at the increasing levels of fear in her scent.  Then he followed her along the bank to a couple of rocks set in the surf, where her trail abruptly ended.  Here her fear was more intense, as though she had hidden behind the rocks, desperate to avoid detection. 

 

It was obvious what had happened.  While walking on the valley floor along the bank, Kagome had spotted the bandits in time to run and hide in the best place she could find.  Maybe the bandits had seen her from far off, or maybe not.  In any case, they came to the river and then left without her.  They hadn’t even followed her to her hiding place.  But then, why did her scent trail suddenly stop?  Why hadn’t she waited until the bandits left and then continued on her way?  _Because they saw her_ , his mind supplied.  He turned and gazed out across the rushing water.  _You dove into the river, didn’t you, Kagome?  You chose to swim for the other side rather than be captured by these guys._ He felt a swell of pride at her intelligence.  She must have known that the bandits wouldn’t swim after her without first taking off their heavy armour.  Many people in this era couldn’t swim at all, and with this river not being fordable by horses, there was a good chance the humans would decide that she wasn’t worth the effort. 

 

She had been absolutely right on all counts.  But Inuyasha’s fleeting relief gave way to a renewed sense of urgency.  There might be more than one group of bandits roaming around, and Kagome was vulnerable to human enemies by herself.  They had dodged catastrophe this time, but next time they might not be so fortunate. 

 

He swam back across the river as quickly as he could, his heart in his throat.  It took some rather frantic searching, but he was finally able to locate Kagome’s scent as it emerged from the water.  From there, her trail moved onto the valley floor and continued downstream.  She had apparently escaped her brush with the bandits no worse for wear.  He would track her down in short order, and there would be no more close calls. 

 

It was not to be. 

 

“Shit!  No, Kagome!  Kagome!” 

 

No one answered him.  Again, the scents told the whole story.  This time, Kagome hadn’t been fast enough to elude her attackers.  They had captured her and borne her across the plain to the northwest.  Men, horses…and one small human girl, caught in the middle.  The scent of her fear and despair boiled his blood.  These bastards would pay dearly. 

 

Hours passed.  Through the heat of the day and into the early evening hours, Inuyasha ran.  As the sun started to sink below the western horizon, he wondered not for the first time why he hadn’t caught up to his quarry yet.  Even with him having to follow a scent trail, it shouldn’t have taken this long.  Either those bandits had excellent horses, or they’d enjoyed more of a head start than he originally thought.  An underlying sensation of wrongness pricked at his consciousness, but he ignored it.  Of course this was wrong; this entire situation was fucked up to begin with. 

 

As day transitioned into night, he crested a rise and finally spotted his target laid out before him.  It was a military style encampment, large enough to house two or three hundred men.  But these were no soldiers.  The tents were too disordered, the sounds of drinking and merrymaking too pronounced.  That, and no horn or shout sounded from an alert watchmen as he approached.  Still, this force was too large to be simple bandits.  They were probably mercenaries for hire, which in Inuyasha’s experience were usually just as rotten.  And Kagome had been alone with them for an undetermined amount of time. 

 

He had to resist the urge to storm in like a hurricane and start tearing shit to pieces.  That would likely result in the entire camp grabbing weapons and engaging him together, and quite possibly a hostage situation as well.  No, the far better course was to sneak in and try to rescue Kagome as quietly as possible.  Most of the men were gathered around the various fires, so there was plenty of room to stealthily make his way through the shadows.  He headed for the largest tent in the camp, reasoning that the leaders would probably be there.  And if you were a mercenary bringing spoils of war back to your camp, you had best bring it to your leaders right away or suffer the consequences. 

 

That hypothesis proved correct.  But nothing could have prepared Inuyasha for the scents which assailed him as he approached the leaders’ tent.  He staggered, grabbing onto the nearest tent rope for support as his other hand clutched at his chest, right above his hemorrhaging heart. 

 

Blood.  So much blood, all of it Kagome’s.  Lingering male lust and bodily fluids, which turned his stomach in revulsion.  And most damning of all, the faint but irrevocable scent which made him want to tear into his gut and spill his entrails onto the dirt.  Death. 

 

He shook violently as he crept closer to the tent, the bile rising, burning his throat raw.  He hesitated for a moment on the precipice, feeling as though his sanity was slipping away.  Denial was an ugly thing, seductive and inviting, but he refused to sink into its deceptively warm embrace.  This wasn’t a dream he was suddenly going to wake from.  Reality began and ended with what he was going to find inside this tent.  He couldn’t deny it, no matter how much he wanted to. 

 

His eyes confirmed what his nose had already informed him.  He sank to his knees and heaved the contents of his stomach onto the ground, over and over again until his entire esophagus smoldered in pain.  Then he crawled to her side, her vacant, lifeless eyes boring into his very soul.  He closed them, granting her the peace which cruel fate had denied her.  He also closed her parted lips, running the pad of his thumb along one of the broken, bleeding petals.  Slicing through the rope which bound her hands to a stake set in the ground above her head, he moved her arms to rest against her midsection.  Then he pulled what was left of her torn and tattered clothing away from her skin, and gently wrapped her in his suikan.  Finally, he bent low, and bestowed a loving kiss upon her forehead.  

 

Odd that there were no tears.  He would have expected to cry over her, just as she had cried over him in the past when she believed him dead.  Instead, he felt nothing.  Perhaps it was better that way.  The dead did not feel anything, after all.  He and Kagome were still the same.  He had lived for her, and now, he had died with her. 

 

“How’s that for a shitty job?  The bosses get to have all the fun, and we have to clean up the m—oi!  Who the hell are you?!”

 

Inuyasha dazedly turned his head toward the entrance to the tent, staring blankly at the two men who had just entered.  Both of them drew their swords. 

 

“Speak, asshole.  Before we cut out your tongue and feed it to you.” 

 

“Hey, look at the ears.  That thing’s a half-breed.” 

 

“Heh, really?  What, did you come to eat the girl?” the first one asked. 

 

The other one chuckled.  “Nah, I think he wants to fuck her instead.  Made her up all nice.  Looks like he really cared,” he mocked. 

 

“Tch, well go ahead then, don’t let us stop you.  She’s probably still warm!” 

 

As the mercenaries descended into laughter, Inuyasha’s muddled mind attempted to comprehend their words.  _They want me to eat her?  To…fuck her?_   His entire body seized as a brutal tremor tore through him, an unspeakable image of Kagome, crying as she was bound and used against her will.  _Is that…what her final moments were like?_   His lips drew back in a silent snarl.  His heartbeat thundered in his ears.  With each pulse, it sent heat coursing through his bloodstream.  His extremities tingled, as though they had fallen asleep and were now regaining sensation.  Where once there was only death, now there was something akin to life. 

 

A dark sensation stirred within his chest.  Black, yet white-hot at the same time, it revitalized him, sustained him.  Pure and unadulterated, it drove him to stand, when he had thought to never rise again.  It enticed him, coaxed him toward an evil deed which he had sworn never again to commit.  Perhaps a part of him should have resisted, but he was dead, after all.  And the dead did not feel anything.  This vengeful thirst for blood which gripped him now was not truly life, but in that moment he simply could not bring himself to care.  Those bastards were still laughing…

 

They never knew what hit them.  With a single swipe of his claws, it was done.  And as their heads and bodies collapsed separately to the ground, Inuyasha studied his hands.  This wasn’t nearly enough blood.  He wanted to saturate himself with it, to permanently dye his skin crimson.  He exited the tent without a glance back, leaving the last of his human heart behind, along with the woman who had captured it.  It occurred to him that he still felt like a hanyou physically.  He probably was; his claws had not lengthened and his youki was not elevated.  But inside, all that remained was a desire to kill.  And he could not see any reason to deny himself that simple satisfaction. 

 

The mercenaries never stood a chance.  He was a blur of motion, nothing more than a lethal apparition to their eyes.  His claws rent flesh, severing heads and limbs with reckless abandon, ripping through tough armour as though it was made of paper.  Those who thought to resist saw their swords snapped, their bows splintered before their own grisly ends came upon them.  Others cowered, paralyzed with abject terror, and were slain without mercy.  Through it all, their crimson bane employed no youki, savoring the tactile pleasure of slaughtering each of them with his bare claws.  Those who were fortunate enough to be on the outskirts of the massacre mounted horses and attempted to escape.  After sending every last soul remaining in camp to hell, the monster eyed the fleeing mercenaries greedily as they rode away.  None would escape.  All would perish by his claws. 

 

Every.  Last.  One. 

 

He received an unexpected surprise as he closed in on his final victim.  This man rode a strong horse and wore the finest clothing and armour, signifying his status as a leader.  And he still smelled of Kagome. 

 

Before his end, this man wished he had never been born.  The monster made certain of it.  He inflicted torments which made a lifetime of the bastard’s evil deeds seem like child’s play.  Hell must have felt like a dip in a warm spring, when he was finally allowed to leave the world of the living.  The night was no longer young by the time the pitiful human’s soul passed on. 

 

Inuyasha sat there for a long time, contemplating his actions beside the body of a man he had murdered in most brutal fashion.  He had deserved it, as had most of his comrades deserved what they received this evening.  Most, but not all.  With the clarity of hindsight, he remembered the few who had perhaps not yet earned a bloody demise.  There had been some young boys, servants or trainees most likely, responsible for cleaning the camp and tending to the fighting men.  Innocents. 

 

Still, he could not honestly say that he regretted his actions.  He could not say that he felt anything at all.  There was no point in remorse, and he had already reached his capacity for self-loathing.  Kagome was still dead, rendering his gory revenge as hollow as the withered shell of his heart. 

 

So what did he do now?  Was there any point in rising from this field?  A voice whispered to him in the darkness, though he couldn’t tell if it came from without or within.  Not that it mattered.  The message was simple: lie down and go to sleep, and feel no more pain.  It was the single most irresistibly seductive proposal he had ever heard. 

 

Somewhere in the heart of feudal Japan, a hanyou lay down in a field and closed his eyes. 


	2. Through Hell

Kagome blanched.  She had to forcefully repress the sudden urge to do something which might reveal her hiding place—like vomit.  For the first time all morning, she was glad that she hadn’t eaten anything since last night.  Crinkling her face in revulsion, she wondered why men had to be so gross. 

 

“Ah, damn that feels good!” 

 

She was sure it did, but that didn’t make it any less disgusting.  This idiot and some of his buddies were currently standing in the river, washing their balls.  And she, hiding behind some piss-poor excuse for a rock a half dozen meters away, was forced to watch.  She couldn’t close her eyes and take a chance that one of them would see her and get the drop on her.  She only looked away long enough to make sure that no one was sneaking up behind her.  And then her gaze was right back on the free-balling idiots in the river. 

 

Again, men were disgusting.  Standing on a river where anyone could see you?  No problem!  Just whip out your junk and fondle yourself as much as you want.  Then again, these men didn’t seem very concerned with appearances.  Or hygiene.  But she was less worried about their body odor than she was about the weapons on their hips, and the general aura of danger surrounding them.  These were not soldiers loyal to some feudal lord, who _might_ help her if she asked—though even that proposition was too risky to actually take a chance on unless she was truly desperate.  No matter what, she would not be captured by these guys.  She didn’t want to go for another swim, but if it meant keeping her away from them, she would dive in without hesitation. 

 

As it turned out, that’s exactly what happened.  Her hiding place wasn’t quite good enough to avoid detection, and she was in the water and swimming as if her life depended on it before the idiot who spotted her finished his ‘hey, look what we have here’ drawl.  She didn’t look back until she was a fair distance from shore, and was relieved to see that the bandits were not pursuing.  As she’d hoped, they apparently didn’t think she was worth the effort.  The current was carrying her downstream from them, so she could conceivably swim back to the same side of the river, but she didn’t see any reason to do that while she was strong enough to make it to the opposite bank. 

 

By the time she climbed out of the water, tired but unharmed, she had made a decision.  The river was her lifeline.  It was literally her only source of protection from men in heavy armour and dubious swimming skills.  No more walking up on the valley floor.  Yes, she could see farther, but she was also farther from her refuge.  No matter what, she had to have her head on a swivel at all times.  If she was going to survive, she had to be both smart and alert. 

 

Her resolve was tested not fifteen minutes later, as her ears picked up the low rumble of marching feet, coming ever closer.  Taking no chances, Kagome dove into the water and swam out to a partially submerged log which she had identified from a distance a couple minutes ago as a decent emergency hiding place.  Then she waited, watching as two or three hundred men marched past in a loose column.  They halted a hundred meters downstream from her to rest and water their horses, then resumed their march in a northwesterly direction.  She was glad to see them moving away from the river, but the prolonged exposure to fairly cold water with no physical activity to keep her warm took its toll.  By the time she paddled wearily back to shore, she was shivering moderately and was ready to be done with this whole ‘survival in the wilderness’ thing.  She didn’t care what Inuyasha said; if she made it out of this, they were heading straight back to the well and she was spending a solid week in her time.  Still, as long as it was sunny, she would be able to warm up fairly quickly. 

 

Then a patch of clouds moved to cover the sun, and refused to budge.  Kagome’s clothes were only partially dry by that point, but she wasn’t terribly uncomfortable.  _And hey, at least it isn’t raining._   A few minutes later, she would regret that thought.  As if reading her mind, the skies darkened quickly and it began to rain.  Hard. 

 

Kagome rarely swore, but she did mutter a few curses at this turn of events.  Not that it did any good.  The storm was moving very slowly from east to west, and it looked like it would take a long time pass overhead.  Perhaps this was why the mercenary army had high-tailed it in the other direction, hoping to stay ahead of the rain for as long as possible or even avoid it altogether if the clouds dissipated.  Kagome could only gaze longingly at the blue skies shining over the western side of the valley.  She was afraid to leave the river, and she was also afraid to build a fire for warmth.  No one was likely to stumble across her in this weather, but any nearby humans might investigate the glow of a fire, especially as it became darker out.  Though she was cold, her need for a fire was not dire enough to take that risk. 

 

Day turned to evening, without any abatement in the downpour.  Kagome found some shelter in the form of a small overhang of rock along the bank, but every time the wind blew the rain would batter her all over again.  She could only huddle to expose as little of her body to the elements as possible, and clench her jaw to prevent her teeth from chattering.  Too uncomfortable and nervous to sleep, she settled in for a long, miserable night. 

 

* * *

 

Inuyasha’s eyes snapped open.  His mind felt clouded, as if grappling with some sort of strange intoxication, but he fought through it.  What had he asked himself again?  _Is there any point in rising from this field?_   Yes, that was it.  For a few moments, as he sank toward what felt like an oddly perpetual slumber, he had not been able to come up with a reason to move from this spot.  Then Kagome’s face swam before his mind’s eye.  Not the smiling, carefree face which used to warm his heart, but the one she now possessed, heavily bruised and set in the eternal mask of death.  He had failed her in life.  Would he fail her in death as well? 

 

Slowly, almost reluctantly, he rose to his feet.  Kagome deserved better than this, to lie in the middle of a battlefield until she wasted away or scavengers got to her.  She deserved a proper burial with her family in attendance, but he knew that he would never be able to bring her body all the way back to the bone eater’s well before it started to decompose.  He thought he had heard that cremation was a more common practice in her time anyway.  So that is what he would do.  He would build a funeral pyre, burn her body, find a suitable container and bring some of the ashes back to her family.  At least a part of her would be able to return home, to the family who loved her.  Mrs. Higurashi especially deserved that consideration, and to know what had happened.  He would give her the chance to rant and rave, and punish him in any manner which she saw fit.  He would not beg for her forgiveness, nor would he refuse any demand which she made of him, including the taking of his own life.  He might actually consider such a demand to be a mercy. 

 

Drawing strength from his new purpose, Inuyasha set to work.  It was easy to gather enough wood from the ruins of the campsite to build a small pyre.  Some of the campfires still burned, so lighting the pyre would be simple as well.  Preparations made, the hanyou returned to the tent where his life had ended.  Kagome still lay exactly as he had left her, wrapped in his suikan.  The garment had to be removed, however, since the fire-rat fabric would not burn.  So he clothed her in his kosode instead.  Then he forced himself to don his suikan once more, knowing the scents it carried would serve as a constant reminder of his failure, of what his weakness had cost them. 

 

Kagome looked so peaceful lying atop the pyre, clad in pure white.  She had been too good for this world, too precious for a worthless hanyou who couldn’t protect her.  She would suffer no more.  He stuck a piece of wood in a campfire until the flames caught, and then returned to his beloved’s side.  After a final, brief hesitation, he reached back to toss the makeshift torch onto the pyre. 

 

A distinctive snapping sound stilled his hand, causing his ears to swivel atop his head.  Deciding it was just some animal slinking through the darkness, he returned to his task.  Another snap stopped him, closer this time, and quickly followed by a growing cacophony of rustling and scraping.  If these were animals, they were treading and crawling noisily across the earth, and there were many of them.  But they didn’t sound like animals. 

 

He turned and gasped, the burning wood slipping from his grasp and clattering to the ground.  This couldn’t be…it wasn’t possible.  But unless his eyes were lying to him, the impossible had become reality.  All across camp, the mercenaries were climbing to their feet.  Some were missing limbs, others had their heads hanging from their necks by thin flaps of flesh.  All should have been dead. 

 

As they surrounded him in a rough half-circle, Inuyasha realized that the mercenaries were in fact still dead.  Somehow they had risen, but life had not returned.  This was different from Kagura’s corpse dance, however; their eyes possessed a certain basic intelligence, an overwhelming drive to satiate a ravenous hunger.  It was obvious whom they intended to feed upon.  Inuyasha cracked his knuckles as his lips twisted into a sadistic sneer.  These bastards should have stayed dead.  He would gladly help them return to their eternal rest. 

 

It was over in a matter of minutes.  The reanimated corpses were surprisingly agile, moving almost as well as their owners had during life.  But they were still no match for a determined hanyou, especially one who employed all of his youki-based attacks this time.  More enemies fell to blades of youki than to claw, slicing the corpses into as many pieces as it took to put them down for good.  The dead could rise from mortal wounds, but they could not reassemble themselves once dismembered.  Inuyasha had no idea why they had reanimated in the first place, but they would not be rising again.  His grim task complete, he turned back to the funeral pyre and froze in shock. 

 

Kagome was gone.  He sprinted to the other side of the pyre, thinking that perhaps she had fallen off due to shoddy construction, but her body was nowhere to be found.  His head snapped up at the sound of footsteps behind him, cold dread settling in the pit of his stomach.  The very air surrounding him seemed to vibrate with the creature’s low growl, which was nevertheless higher in pitch than any of the vocalizations made by the reanimated mercenaries.  Fear gripped Inuyasha suddenly, scorching every nerve, his heartbeat racing in his chest.  _No…please, no…not that…_   Somehow, he knew his pleas would go unanswered.  Slowly, haltingly, he turned to face his nemesis. 

 

His knees buckled, and he stumbled back, barely managing to remain on his feet.  He continued to back away, as the creature once known as Kagome advanced upon him, her ravenous eyes boring hungrily into his own.  Every inhuman snarl reverberating from her throat was a knife stabbing into his gut.  Part of him wanted to put her down, the same as the mercenaries.  But could he really do it?  Was this still Kagome, or just a walking corpse?  If there was any trace of Kagome left, was there a way to save her?  Could her soul be recalled, or was it lost forever? 

 

Inuyasha’s mind imploded.  Questions he couldn’t answer, a dilemma which threatened to paralyze him.  The snarling, undead visage of his beloved.  It was too much.  He turned and fled into the night. 

 

* * *

 

Kagome bolted awake, her eyes darting in every direction before her momentary panic subsided.  She hadn’t intended to fall asleep, but fatigue and the endless monotony of a rainy evening must have gotten to her, probably in the early hours of the morning.  Since apparently no one had stumbled across her during the night, she figured that the sleep was probably a good thing.  A half night’s worth of shuteye was certainly better than none. 

 

It looked like dawn would be arriving any minute, so she decided to get up and greet the day.  She stifled a grimace as her stiff limbs protested her movements, but it felt good to stand and stretch after being holed up in her little alcove all night.  It didn’t feel so nice to have a full bladder, a problem which she quickly rectified.  After a revitalizing drink from the river, which satisfied her thirst but only served to remind her of how hungry she was getting, Kagome sat on a convenient rock to watch the sunrise and revisit her survival strategy. 

 

Her best bet was still finding a human settlement.  Her hunger pangs weren’t going away, and she wasn’t delusional enough to believe that she would be able to find or catch enough food on her own.  She could survive for a while without food, since she had water, but her strength would gradually wane.  She could conserve energy by staying put and waiting for rescue, but that idea still didn’t sit well with her so she decided to press on for another day.  She did, however, take a couple hours to remove her socks and shoes and dry them in the sun as best she could.  It wasn’t perfect, but it would have to do.  Hopefully she wouldn’t need to go swimming today.  Or get rained on, for that matter. 

 

By mid-morning, her spirits were truly on the rise.  She had not seen nor heard any sign of armed men, and she actually wasn’t cold for the first time in almost twenty-four hours.  The sky was dyed a beautiful shade of blue, the weather almost urging her toward optimism.  She was going to find a village today, she just knew it! 

 

It was around this time that she noticed smoke rising in the distance.  Not the thin cloud one would expect from a campfire or even a bonfire, but a great black haze ascending into the sky.  Kagome’s heart sank.  That smoke was too vast to have originated from any controlled blaze; either a brushfire had started on the plain, or some large manmade structures were burning.  She had an uneasy feeling that it was the latter.  But she had to keep moving forward.  She wasn’t going to turn back or leave the river, so if the current led her to the source of the smoke, then so be it.  She would proceed with caution, in any case. 

 

Another hour of walking carried her to a terrible scene.  She had indeed found a human settlement, or more accurately, what was left of one.  What had once been a quaint village much like Kaede’s was now a smoldering ruin.  Most of the huts had burned down to cinders, charred skeletons of wood marking the places where structures had previously stood.  More disturbing than the devastated buildings was the sight of the villagers’ bodies, and the smell of burnt flesh.  The smart thing to do would be to move on, to get as far away from here as possible in case the perpetrators returned.  But she couldn’t do that, not until she’d checked for survivors.  If anyone had survived the raid, they were probably in dire need of assistance, and it was not in her nature to ignore those in need. 

 

After carefully checking to make sure the coast was clear, she crept quietly into the village.  Her adventures in the feudal era had left her somewhat desensitized to death, so inspecting the bodies didn’t bother her very much.  She would have time later to ruminate on whether or not that was a good thing.  For now, she said a brief prayer over each corpse and moved on.  She couldn’t spare the energy required to do anything more.  If she reunited with her friends then perhaps the whole group could return and bury the bodies.  They had certainly done that before.  But for now the villagers would have to lie where they fell.  Once she had checked for survivors, she would see if anything edible had survived the fire, and then get the hell out of here. 

 

She didn’t come across another living soul until she reached the outskirts of the village, on the side facing the valley.  A man lay in the street on his back, the dirt around him darkened with his blood.  He still clutched a hunter’s bow in his hand, and had a quiver of arrows slung over his shoulder.  It was not the first evidence she had seen of the villagers’ futile attempts to defend themselves, but it was still a poignant scene.  This man perished trying to protect those who were precious to him, but there was no glory in his sacrifice.  Everyone had died anyway. 

 

Or perhaps not.  A woman lay sprawled on her back nearby, also bleeding from severe wounds, a spear lying across her torso.  Kagome actually said a prayer over her body, but caught the subtle signs of her breathing in her peripheral vision as she turned away.  It was only the more obvious motion of the spear point which allowed her to see the incredibly shallow rise of her chest.  She immediately knelt by the woman’s side and attempted to rouse her.  The woman opened her eyes after a moment, her unfocused gaze staring up at the sky. 

 

“Mi…” she whispered.  “Mi…”

 

“Mizu?” Kagome finished.  “You want water?” 

 

The woman slipped into unconsciousness before responding, but Kagome immediately stood and jogged down to the river, picking up a small bowl along the way.  She wasn’t going to ignore a final request from someone who was clearly dying.  If the water helped to ease her passing, even a little, then in Kagome’s mind it was well worth the effort.  Unfortunately, by the time she returned, what little life remained in the woman had already departed.  Sighing sadly, she said a prayer over the body and moved on. 

 

Next she came to a hut which was only partially destroyed; some quirk of wind or blaze had put out the fire before it fully consumed the structure.  Most of three walls and the roof had collapsed inward, leaving a pile of charred timber, out of which stuck a small human hand.  Kagome closed her eyes for a moment, her sorrow deepening.  She wondered if the woman had really been asking for water, after all.  Perhaps this was her child, and his or her name began with the syllable ‘mi.’  It seemed like a despairingly strong possibility.  The man in the street was probably the father.  Hopefully the little family would be reunited in the afterlife. 

 

Kagome began to pray over the pile of rubble covering the body, and nearly jumped a meter in the air when the small hand twitched suddenly.  As she watched, it moved again, with definite intent this time.  That was all the encouragement she needed to kneel in the ruins of the hut and begin pulling aside debris.  What she found underneath the burnt wood sent a stabbing pain through her chest.  

 

It was a little boy, about Souta’s age.  He could probably have passed for her brother’s second or third cousin, except for the severe burns marring one side of his face.  He stared at her with his one good eye, the mahogany orb darkened with agony.  Kagome didn’t need medical training to comprehend the truth.  This boy wasn’t going to make it.  His body was too broken, too badly burned.  It was a miracle that he still clung to life.  He tried to speak, but only ended up wheezing and coughing up blood.  Kagome clasped her hand in his, seeking to offer whatever comfort she could, but he shook his head so she let him go.  She soon discovered why he had rejected her touch.  He weakly raised his hand and pointed in the direction where his mother lay. 

 

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Kagome told him, blinking back tears.  “But she…didn’t make it.” 

 

Again he shook his head, his lips moving with purpose.  When Kagome failed to read them the first time, he repeated the message, again pointing toward his mother’s body.  It took a third attempt before she finally interpreted the silent plea correctly. 

 

“You want the spear?” 

 

He nodded, and Kagome frowned in confusion.  _Why would he—_   She gasped, suddenly comprehending why he desired the spear, and what he was asking her to do.  Every fiber of her being cried out, demanding that she refuse.  How could she help a child commit suicide?  It went against everything she stood for.  On the other hand, how could she allow him to continue to suffer, when there was no hope that he would survive his wounds?  Didn’t he have a right to choose death?  Earlier she had reflected that it was a miracle that he still lived.  Perhaps it was more of a curse than a miracle.  If she was in his situation, lying mortally wounded next to the bodies of everyone who loved her, would she want to continue clinging to life?  Or would she ask an unlucky passerby to help her end it all? 

 

As she knelt there paralyzed, grappling with this intensely emotional dilemma, Kagome felt the boy’s small hand come to rest atop her own.  His skin was shockingly cold to the touch, and his expression was desperate, pleading. 

 

“Please,” he rasped, immediately descending into a coughing fit which brutally wracked his small form.  Kagome sobbed, knowing that no matter what it did to her, she couldn’t let this child suffer any longer.  She stood on shaking legs, and retrieved the spear.  Then she held it over him, the sharp metal point positioned directly above his neck.  It was difficult to keep the weapon steady due to her trembling.  She had been hoping that the boy would be able to make the final thrust if she held the shaft upright for him, but he was too weak to raise his arm high enough.  His eyes pleaded with her once more, begging her to end his pain.  Again, every fiber of her being screamed in protest.  But she had to do this.  She couldn’t let this poor boy suffer any longer.  She desperately wanted to squeeze her eyes shut, but if she did, she might err with her aim and fail to inflict a mortal wound, thereby causing him even more pain.  And that was something she would never allow herself to do. 

 

Instincts of self-preservation made one final attempt, but she refused to change her mind.  But as she took a shuddering breath and began a grim mental countdown, she had to wonder how much of her sanity this act of mercy would cost her. 

 

Three…two…one…

 

With a cry which was half sob and half wail, she thrust the spear.  The boy’s eyes widened in shock, as though he hadn’t known what to expect.  But the gratitude in his expression never wavered, even as he gurgled blood and his body spasmed weakly in its final throes.  It was over quickly.  The boy’s head lolled to the side, and his body finally stilled. 

 

Kagome didn’t remember collapsing to the ground.  She didn’t remember curling into the fetal position, or being struck lightly by the shaft of the spear as it fell, still embedded in the boy’s neck.  When she regained awareness of herself, in what could have been minutes or hours later, all she knew was that she had been crying bitterly.  She seemed to recall rejecting a strong temptation to continue lying in the ruins of that hut, and never rise again.  The idea seemed ludicrous now.  She had too much to live for.  Sango and Miroku could never live happily together until Naraku was slain and the jewel banished from this world, and Inuyasha would never find peace.  Even if this experience left her permanently scarred, it didn’t change her responsibility to help her friends finally achieve their own dreams, or lessen the love she held for them. 

 

So she got up, rising from the ashes of what had once been a young family’s home.  She spared a final glance at the boy, said a prayer over his body, and turned to return to the river.  She did not get far. 

 

“Well, well, what do we have here?”

 

Those words had her spinning around to face the valley, where a grizzled man stood leering at her with a lascivious expression.  He wore tattered armour and held a dull sword in his right hand.  Despite his unkempt appearance, Kagome wasn’t sure she could outrun him to the river.  But given his obvious intentions for her, she was certainly going to try.  Again, she didn’t make it far.  The sight of another man standing in the street behind her, and a third off to the other side, stilled her in her tracks.  They surrounded her in a rough circle, all smirking and ogling her openly.  She spun back to face the first man as he spoke again. 

 

“Nowhere to run, girl.  You might as well give up now.  It’ll go better for you that way.” 

 

He advanced menacingly toward her, and she backed away out of reflex until her heel caught on something unexpectedly and she fell onto her backside, unwittingly giving the bandit quite a show. 

 

“Phew!” he exclaimed with a snicker.  “That sure is a short kimono.  I’m starting to think that you might actually be looking forward to this.” 

 

Fighting off panic, Kagome started to rise, but froze as she glimpsed the object which had tripped her.  It was the arm of the father whom she had seen lying in the street earlier.  His hand still clutched his hunting bow, which she immediately claimed.  Before the sniggering bandits could react, she had the quiver of arrows strapped to her back and a projectile drawn and aimed squarely at the talkative one’s chest.  His mirth faded quickly, though his smirk did not disappear.  Kagome waited until they were finished with another round of vulgar comments, then spoke in as firm a voice as she could muster

 

“Back off!” 

 

“Or what?” the leader challenged.  “You probably couldn’t hit water if you were standing on a beach.” 

 

“I’ll k-kill you if you come any closer,” she threatened, cursing herself for her stutter.  At this point, she honestly wasn’t sure if she was bluffing or not.  She didn’t want to kill again, today or ever.  Could she bring herself to do it, even in self-defense? 

 

The bandit sneered.  “Well, if you think you can k-kill me, then go right ahead.  Just don’t think I’m gonna go easy on you now.” 

 

He stepped forward.  Kagome loosed her arrow.  The bandit’s eyes flew wide in shock at the unexpectedly straight path of the projectile.  After a futile effort to block the arrow with his sword, he screamed in pain and sank to his knees as it embedded itself firmly in his thigh.  Kagome didn’t know if it was a mistake to lower her aim at the last possible instant to inflict a non-lethal wound, and she didn’t have time to question it now.  She sprinted past the downed man, his two cohorts in hot pursuit. 

 

This was not good.  As she feared, the men were gaining on her quickly, courtesy of their longer legs and the fact that they probably hadn’t gone almost forty-eight hours without food.  She was never going to make it to the river.  One of them made a grab for her, but she twisted away from his grasp.  This nearly send her careening into the other bandit, who reached out and whacked her hard with the scabbard of his sword.  She toppled to the ground, rolling over once, her survival instincts switching from flight back to fight in an instant.  She came up with an arrow in hand, nocked it and drew back the bowstring in a single fluid motion.  There was no time to aim or think, only to react.  Her vision was entirely consumed by the sight of the nearest man bearing down on her.  She fired. 

 

Time seemed to slow to a crawl.  The bandit’s expression shifted to one of bemusement, as though he could not understand the sensations running through his body.  His left eye blinked once, rapidly becoming unfocused.  His right eye did nothing, having been nearly destroyed by the arrow which had passed through it and embedded itself in his brain.  He seemed to lose all strength in his muscles, his coordinated and efficient sprint abruptly terminating as he collapsed face first into the dirt.  He did not rise.  The shaft of the arrow caught on the ground, resulting in his head being tilted backward and turned to the side.  Thus, Kagome was presented with a perfect view of his face, the face of the man whom she had just murdered.  She could not take her eyes off of it. 

 

At least, not until another body slammed into hers, bearing her to the ground.  She lay on her back, still too stunned to react, as a pair of hands clasped around her neck, cutting off her airway.  Her gaze came to rest on the owner of those hands, his face twisted into a silent snarl.  Gone was the humor, the lust; all that remained was pure rage.  Perhaps the man she had killed was a relative, she reflected, or at the very least a very close friend.  It didn’t matter now.  It would be so easy to surrender, to simply let go.  She was tempted again, as the face of the dead man swam before her mind’s eye.  Logic said that she had killed in self-defense, but logic held no sway over the swirl of emotions ravaging her mind. 

 

It took her longer this time, to muster her resolve.  The battle to rediscover her will to live was more arduous than before, but she eventually prevailed all the same.  Will to live, by itself, however, was not enough.  Without the physical strength to convert it to reality, will was meaningless.  And her lungs were already beginning to burn from lack of oxygen. 

 

Her hands shot up, clawing at the face of her assailant.  But his arms were longer than hers, and he repositioned his knees to pin her shoulders to keep her fingernails at bay.  Kagome barely managed to suck in a desperate gasp of air during his brief moment of distraction, but then he redoubled the pressure on her neck.  She continued to struggle, her resistance weakening as her body’s need for oxygen spiraled to critical levels.  Finally, as her vision swam and blackness began to seep into her consciousness, she was forced to confront cold reality.  No matter how badly she wanted to live, she simply did not possess the physical strength to throw this man off of her.  He outweighed her by too much pure muscle, and held a dominant position above her.  She was going to die. 

 

Salvation arrived as she was in the middle of contemplating her final regrets.  The pressure on her throat suddenly vanished, replaced by a spray of liquid which soaked her to the skin.  Some of the metallic fluid fell into her mouth as she gasped for air, but that did not stop her from inhaling a massive lungful.  Her abused throat throbbed in pain, but oxygen was too sweet an elixir not to savor again and again.  Some sodden objects collapsed against both of her sides, but she was initially too busy bingeing on air to care what they were.  She did, however, snap back to full awareness upon hearing a shout from somewhere in the distance. 

 

“No!  Stay back you monster!”  The voice was masculine, though the tone was raised by absolute terror to the point of cracking.  The scream which followed was abruptly silenced by the gruesomely wet sounds of flesh being torn asunder.  Kagome’s relief returned to fear in an instant.  Whatever ‘monster’ had dispatched her immediate assailant, leaving her covered in what she could only assume were his blood and body parts, it had also hunted down and executed the man she shot in the leg earlier.  And now she and the monster were alone.  With dread settling in her gut, she sat up slowly and opened her eyes. 

 

The monster was a familiar terror.  He stalked toward her, fangs bared, his claws dripping with blood.  But what scared her the most was the absolute lack of any sense of recognition in his scarlet orbs.  She could detect no sign of higher intelligence; this was a monster, operating solely on his baser instincts.  He would kill for the sake of killing, until he could kill no more.  Still, she had to try to reach him. 

 

“Inuyasha, it’s me, Kagome.” 

 

No response. 

 

“Inuyasha, please!  Don’t you recognize me?” 

 

The monster raised his claws, cracking his knuckles in preparation for another strike, as his lips curved upward into a joyful sneer.  Kagome resisted the urge to flee for her life.  It would do her no good; there had to be another way to stop him.  _Use the bow.  Save yourself._   She wasn’t sure if that voice came from within or without, but her survival instincts certainly agreed.  She quickly rearmed herself, drew an arrow and took aim.  The monster continued his advance undeterred. 

 

Kagome hesitated then, an odd thought occurring to her.  In her mind, she kept referring to this youkai as ‘the monster.’  But it wasn’t just a monster, it was Inuyasha.  And could she really shoot _Inuyasha_ in order to save her own life?  _That is not Inuyasha.  Inuyasha is gone.  He can never come back._   If that was true, then logically she _should_ shoot him.  The hanyou whom she had fallen in love with would want her to do just that, if the alternative was him slaughtering her in cold blood.  But she couldn’t be certain that _her_ Inuyasha truly was beyond reach, no matter how sure the voice in her head sounded.  Still, there was no way for her to avoid choosing between the two extremes.  Her pulse quickened with each menacing step, her nerves flaring uncontrollably.  Soon her arms were shaking so badly that she could no longer be certain that the arrow would fly where she aimed it.  She might aim for his leg and accidentally strike his heart.  Nothing aside from a lethal shot was likely to stop him at any rate. 

 

So this really was a story of two extremes, with nothing in between.  One choice led to Inuyasha’s death, the other to her own.  Because barring what seemed like the most impossible of miracles, the youkai before her was not going to suddenly recognize her.  It truly did appear that he had lost all of his humanity, the dire warnings concerning his full-youkai transformations having finally come to pass. 

 

Kagome had to wonder just how strong her will to live truly was.  It surged within her, powerful and convincing, loosening her hold on the drawn arrow.  Only her rebellious heart prevented the projectile’s release.  The monster launched himself into a dead sprint, letting loose a savage growl.  He would be upon her in less than a second.  She was out of time.  _Shoot him!  Shoot him now!_  

 

The bow and arrow clattered harmlessly to the ground beside her.  With no hope left to her, but at peace with her decision, Kagome closed her eyes and waited for the final blow to fall. 

 

It never came.  No claws cut into her flesh, and the only sound which greeted her ears was that of her own heavy breathing.  Eventually she gathered up the courage to open her eyes and scan her surroundings.  She was alone. 

 

Choked laughter burst uncontrollably from her throat, the relieved mirth of a woman who only moments prior had been completely certain of impending death.  But Inuyasha was nowhere to be seen.  The only sign that he had been here at all were the dismembered corpses of his victims.  The realization that one of said victims was lying on top of her in still-bleeding pieces caused the bile to rise in Kagome’s throat, but she managed to prevent herself from vomiting, in large part because there was nothing in her stomach to purge.  Scrambling away from the corpse did nothing to remove the blood which covered her entire front, from forehead to toes.  Cleaning herself was a top priority, for practical as well as psychological reasons.  After that, she would try to figure out where Inuyasha had disappeared to, and why he hadn’t killed her.  She tried not to get her hopes up, but the fact that she was still alive had to mean something, right? 

 

She stretched out her spiritual senses and was immediately confronted with an intensely disquieting sensation.  It was similar to the feeling of wrongness which she experienced in the cave two evenings prior, she realized.  This was not the first time since then that she had accessed her spiritual energy—she had taken to periodically scanning for youkai auras during her journey along the riverbank—but it was the first time she had encountered anything like this.  It was almost as though a veil had been lifted from her eyes, and she could see things much more clearly.  But as before, she couldn’t identify the strange feeling or truly comprehend the reason behind it.  It was still a mystery, one she sensed that she would need to solve in order to find Inuyasha and get them both out of this mess. 

 

But first, she headed down to the river and began to scrub the blood off of her exposed skin.  Her clothes were probably a lost cause, and she didn’t want to strip in order to wash them anyway.  Perhaps she could find something wearable in the village.  As she washed her legs, she continued to ruminate upon her ever-changing situation.  It was humorous, in a dark sort of way.  Up until now, she had been counting on her friends to come to her rescue.  But it was now abundantly clear that Inuyasha was not capable of rescuing anyone, and she didn’t want to think about what might have happened to the rest of their companions.  She would worry, of course, but she had to bury those concerns in order to ensure her own survival and help Inuyasha.  She could only hope that he was not beyond saving. 

 

Satisfied with her handiwork and feeling much better for it, Kagome stood and focused her spiritual energy once more.  She stretched her senses as far as she could, searching for any trace of Inuyasha’s aura.  Unfortunately her range was not that far, and she could detect no sign of his presence.  Her concentration faltered abruptly as something new brushed against her consciousness.  A sudden compulsion gripped her, to move across the valley as quickly as possible.  Her nerves flared, the physical manifestation of the overpowering sense of urgency coursing through her.  And unlike the disembodied voice she had heard earlier, she could tell that this instinct came from within. 

 

As she ran across the plain, the world around her seemed to shift before her eyes.  The trees and mountains in the distance appeared to blur in and out of focus, as though she was under the influence of alcohol.  Somehow she knew that the cause of the odd visual display had nothing to do with her physical condition, however.  What did it mean?  Her brain continued to work toward an answer, but all thoughts of solving that mystery dissipated when she sensed Inuyasha’s aura up ahead.  Her immense relief that he felt like a hanyou again was dampened by the way his aura flickered with distress.  Inuyasha was in deep trouble. 

 

Ignoring the stitch in her side, Kagome quickened her pace, sprinting across the plain as fast as her legs could carry her. 


	3. The Source of Evil

Inuyasha stumbled and went down hard, scraping the skin of his palms against the rough earth.  It was an odd experience; he probably hadn’t tripped over his own two feet since he was a brat.  But then, he hadn’t exactly been moving with his typical graceful stride.  He couldn’t seem to get his legs to coordinate properly; as a result, the best he could muster was an ungainly half-jog, half-shuffle.  He was acutely aware that everything he had seen and done since yesterday evening was royally screwing with his head, but there was nothing he could do about it.  It weighed on him, a constant enticement, coaxing him to give up the struggle and end his suffering.  The tremendous burden pressed down on his shoulders, impeding his attempts to rise.  He slumped back to the ground, defeated.  He was tired, so very tired.  It was becoming harder and harder to remember why he continued to run. 

 

The sounds of soft, irregular footfalls and a low, rasping growl served as an effective reminder.  He turned back in dismay to find her bearing down on him, her eyes glowing ravenously.  She had pursued him all night and through the morning, never allowing him a moment’s respite.  Constantly torn between fleeing in terror and a morbid sense of responsibility, he had moved just quickly enough to remain out of her grasp. 

 

He couldn’t do it anymore.  This shameful display had gone on long enough.  It was time to make a decision.  _Strike her down.  Save yourself._   He recognized that voice as the one which had urged him to lie down and pass into apparently eternal sleep the previous evening.  It should have set off alarm bells, but a great haze of despair clouded his mind, preventing him from seeing what he should have seen.  Instead of raising suspicion, the voice appealed to a very influential side of him.  His youki swelled within him, swirling and crackling in response to the very obvious threat to his life.  His youkai side did not wish to die.  Perhaps it recognized what his human half refused to believe, that this creature who used to be Kagome was truly beyond saving. 

 

But he couldn’t know that for sure.  His human heart, which felt pain and remorse strongly enough to contemplate suicide, also insisted that all hope was not lost for Kagome.  If her body still moved, then it wasn’t truly dead, and perhaps her soul could be recalled and she could return to normal.  Logically he knew this was a fool’s hope.  Kagome had died.  Her body smelled like a corpse.  Her soul had passed on.  And he had already seen first-hand the suffering a soul could endure when pulled back into the living world to which it no longer belonged.  _Yes, strike down this abomination.  Let Kagome be at peace._  

 

Still his heart resisted, effectively paralyzing him as she stalked closer, her growl increasing in volume and ferocity as she drew nearer to her prey.  Inuyasha snarled in response, his claws poised to deliver the single swift strike which would end this farce.  Still he hesitated, as she knelt before him, as she opened her jaws wide and lunged for his vulnerable throat.  _Strike now!_

 

A single thought held him back.  His human half cried out, struggling desperately with every fiber of its being to prevent him from giving in to the demands of his youkai side.  His very humanity urged him toward an alternate path.  How could he ignore his human heart, when Kagome loved him for it? 

 

He still wasn’t sure what his plan was, to continue to run in pursuit of false hope or to surrender himself here and now.  In any case, it was too late to avoid the pain of teeth sinking into his neck.  When the pain never came, however, he snapped his eyes open to find himself alone.  He spun in a full circle to locate the undead specter who must still be close by; she couldn’t possibly have moved too far away in the few seconds he’d had his eyes closed.  And yet, Kagome was gone all the same.  How was this possible?  Had it all been a terrible dream?  Maybe he really had fallen asleep in the field where he had slaughtered the last of the mercenaries.  Maybe this whole mess with the reanimated corpses was just a nightmare.  If he fell asleep here, would he wake up in reality?  And if so, did he really want to? 

 

Inuyasha flopped onto his back and took to gazing up at the blue sky overhead.  He was too tired to do anything else.  Perhaps he would eventually rise from this spot and move on, or perhaps not.  He didn’t really have a reason to get up, did he?  It occurred to him that the voice which had been speaking to him since last night had gone completely silent.  He frowned.  What the hell was that voice, and why hadn’t he considered it suspicious before?  Why did he suddenly feel that something was very wrong here? 

 

Ultimately, Inuyasha quashed those thoughts.  He just wanted to clear his mind and rest for a bit…or for eternity.  Should he do what was easy, or what his human heart believed to be right?  Another story of two extremes, same as the one he had just confronted.  Later, he would confront this new decision as well.  But for now, he would rest. 

 

There wasn’t much wind, so he heard the intruder long before he smelled her.  ‘Her’ because he only heard two footfalls, indicating a biped, and because her breathing sounded feminine to his sharp ears.  Hopefully it was just some village girl passing through, and she would leave him alone.  And yet, there was something familiar about the way she breathed, as if he had heard this exact rhythm before.  He quickly ordered himself to stop being delusional.  But as the footsteps came closer and closer, he could no longer simply lie back and hope they passed him by, just in case the owner actually posed a threat.  He decided to at least shift his position so he could see the intruder approach.  And then her scent drifted to his nose.  A surge of pure electricity coursed through him, jolting him to his feet faster than he thought possible.  He was still trying to deny what he smelled as he turned to face her. 

 

How could this be?  He had seen her corpse with his own two eyes, held her lifeless body in his arms.  He had watched her rise as an undead creature, a scourge upon the earth.  And then she had disappeared into thin air, causing him to question his own sanity.  Now he doubted it even further.  Was this merely an apparition conjured by his own grief-stricken mind?  And if so, why wasn’t her appearance as pristine as newly fallen snow, as pure as mountain spring water?  That’s how he would have expected his mentally unhinged self to imagine her.  Instead she wore a yellow blouse which he didn’t recognize, and which was dyed red with human blood.  His nose confirmed that it did not belong to her, but it was still a disturbing sight, as were the severe bruises around her neck. 

 

He resisted the nearly overwhelming urge to rush to her side, to take her into his arms and demand to know whether she was all right.  Fear kept his feet rooted to the ground, fear that this was all an illusion, that his arms would clasp around empty air if he went to her.  For he knew that if he allowed his heart to swell with hope once again, only to discover that the Kagome before him was merely a figment of his own imagination, he would never recover.  It would destroy him, utterly and completely. 

 

She slowed to a stop before him, her relieved smile sending pangs of longing shooting through his chest.  Oh, how he wanted this to be real.  She looked like she was about to say something, but instead she bent over at the waist and rested her hands on her knees.  Her panting echoed loudly in his ears, clear evidence of her exhaustion, and yet another aspect of her which did not fit with the idealized version of Kagome that he might have expected his insanity to conjure.  _Kagome…is it really…_   He didn’t dare finish that thought.  He stood before a great precipice, wondering whether to cling to the solid ground beneath his feet or leap into the uncharted abyss.  In a sense, it was already too late.  Warmth blossomed within his chest, bringing life to his shriveled heart.  Against his better judgment, he had already taken the plunge.  All that remained was to learn the truth. 

 

Kagome straightened up, too quickly as it turned out, as she swooned slightly and stumbled to regain her balance.  Inuyasha was by her side in an instant, steadying her against his chest.  She grinned at him, a polite expression of gratitude on the tip of her tongue.  But her words deserted her, her smile melting away as she stared into his orbs of molten gold.  She swallowed nervously, but held his gaze, a simple action which caused the hanyou’s revitalized heart to soar.  This was the Kagome he knew and loved, the one whose very soul was visible through her eyes if he only took the time to look.  The one who made life worth living.  Still he held his breath, waiting for something unidentifiable, something which possessed the power to tear him down and restore him all in one breath.   

 

“Inuyasha?”

 

The sound of his name cascading from her lips flowed through him, a wondrous elixir, reaching down deep inside and healing him body and soul.  There were still harsh realities to cope with, hard truths to manage, but the realization that he could face the future with Kagome by his side was too amazing for words.  Indeed, his tongue remained hopelessly paralyzed.  There were simply no words sufficient to express how it felt to have his shattered heart mended by her loving hands, and how humbled he was by the experience.  And so, he did the only thing he could think to do.  He leaned down and kissed her. 

 

Kagome gasped in shock, her mind racing with a dozen questions and ten times as many possible answers.  Then the reality that Inuyasha was kissing her settled in, and she turned off higher brain function.  His kiss was forceful, but not painfully so.  Still, she could do little more than part her lips and allow him to take what he needed.  Even so, her already weakened knees buckled under the onslaught of pure sensation.  His strong arms supported her, pulling her even closer as he continued to devour her.  A wonderful warmth spread through her, both exhilarating and comforting, as he encouraged her to move with him, their lips and tongues entwining in a dance as old as time itself. 

 

It was over all too soon.  Inuyasha pulled back suddenly, his body shaking against her.  Kagome’s heart broke at the sight of his tears, and again when he buried his face into her shoulder and enfolded her in tight embrace.  She wrapped her arms around his back, blinking back her own tears as she ran her fingers soothingly along his tense muscles.  Inuyasha did not sob, but his shoulders shook periodically as he continued to cling to her as if though his life depended on it.  Perhaps for him, it truly did.  Kagome frowned as she wondered what had happened to him, knowing it would have taken a truly severe trauma to put him in this state.  As soon as he was ready, she would try to get to the bottom of this. 

 

He finally drew away from her several minutes later, hurriedly wiping his face with his sleeve and staring apologetically at the wet spot on her blouse.  Kagome smiled wryly, reflecting that his tears were by far the least offensive thing to stain her blouse since she put it on two nights ago.  Then her expression turned serious. 

 

“Inuyasha, are you okay?” 

 

He blinked once.  “Am I…” he trailed off, sudden anger blazing to life in his eyes.  “Am _I_ okay?  Are you fucking kidding me?  What about you?!  Why aren’t you—”

 

He literally choked on the rest of his question, taking the edge off of Kagome’s own rising irritation.  She didn’t like being yelled at for expressing genuine concern, but she recognized his irritability as borne of mortification and bewilderment.  Inuyasha was obviously embarrassed at his emotional display and confused by his recent experiences.  It was not a good combination, especially for the volatile hanyou.  So rather than snapping back at him, Kagome resolved to try a more rational approach. 

 

“Why aren’t I what, Inuyasha?” she inquired gently. 

 

He glared at her, as if demanding to know how she could _dare_ to ask such a thing.  But when he saw only kindness and worry in her gaze, his own expression softened.  He lowered his eyes, shame coloring his features, and for a moment Kagome feared that he was going to retreat into his shell and hide there for the foreseeable future. 

 

“I saw you, Kagome,” he stated quietly, his voice low, almost chilling.  “I held you in my arms.  You were…you were…”

 

Kagome placed her finger to his lips, silently telling him that he didn’t need to finish that sentence.  His eyes closed in relief and his shoulders slumped in gratitude.  _Dead._   That was how his statement ended; nothing else could have made him act this way, or explain his behavior upon meeting up with her a few minutes ago.  Only the overwhelming joy and relief of seeing her _alive_ again would have made him kiss her like that, as though nothing else could return him to life.  A pleasant shiver passed through her at the memory, but she pushed those thoughts aside and focused on the mystery at hand.  _So Inuyasha saw me dead before, but obviously that wasn’t real.  It must have been an illusion of some kind.  The last time I saw him…was that an illusion too?_

 

“Inuyasha?”  He didn’t respond verbally or raise his eyes, but both of his ears did turn in her direction to let her know that he was listening. 

 

“Earlier today, did you transform into a full-youkai?”  Finally he looked at her, his expression once again dominated by annoyance and confusion. 

 

“What the hell are you talking about, wench?” 

 

“Just answer the question,” Kagome snapped, wrestling with her own temper.  She didn’t want to explode at him, but he was starting to push her buttons with his petulant behavior.  Fortunately, he seemed to realize the danger he was in, and it was with decidedly less attitude that he complied with her demand.  The key adjective being ‘less’ rather than ‘none.’ 

 

“No, wench.  I didn’t transform.” 

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

“Keh.  Just ‘cause I don’t always remember what happens while I transform, doesn’t mean I don’t know _when_ it happens.  I’m not stupid, you know.” 

 

Inuyasha expected Kagome to respond in kind, with some attitude of her own.  Perhaps he was prodding her temper on purpose just to experience a normal interaction with her.  He wouldn’t even mind if she eventually ended their verbal sparring match by shouting ‘osuwari,’ as kissing dirt after saying or doing something stupid had become just about second nature to him at this point.  Not that he would ever admit _that_ out loud.  So he was prepared to receive Kagome’s annoyance, and perhaps even a little venom.  But he did not expect her to put her head down so her bangs covered her eyes, or ball her hands into tight, shaking fists at her sides.  She pursed her lips into a thin line, her jaw muscles firmly clenched.  And when the air around her began to literally crackle with her aura, he was not too proud to take a few steps back and hold up his hands in a desperate attempt to placate her ire. 

 

“W-wait, Kagome.  I didn’t—”

 

“Relax, Inuyasha,” she growled, her voice low and menacing.  “I’m not angry with you.” 

 

Inuyasha was understandably relieved to hear this, but he was still very confused.  The term ‘angry’ didn’t really do Kagome justice at the moment; she was positively livid.  When she got like this, woe to any enemy who dared to threaten her friends.  Naraku and several others had found that out first-hand.  And even though he wasn’t the target of her fury, Inuyasha still didn’t dare to utter a word, knowing she would explain when she was ready. 

 

“Don’t you get it, Inuyasha?” she asked, more than a hint of frustration bleeding into her voice.  “When you saw me before, it wasn’t real.  It was just an illusion.  And when I saw you before, that wasn’t real either.  Someone has been… _screwing_ with us, making us see terrible things, making us _do_ things we never thought we’d have to do.  Some heartless _bastard_ …”

 

She trailed off here, too incensed to continue.  As understanding dawned, Inuyasha felt his own ire rise.  If what Kagome said was true, the word ‘bastard’ didn’t begin to describe the person who had put them through this.  _That voice who whispered to me, when I was at the lowest points of my entire life…_   His stomach roiled, leaving him feeling physically ill.  But anger provided a convenient outlet for disgust and self-loathing, fuel for the burgeoning fire.  Suddenly the world blurred before his eyes, shifting in and out of focus several times in rapid succession. 

 

“What the hell?” 

 

“Noticed it, huh?” Kagome asked, her tone utterly devoid of humor.  “Once we start to question the illusion, we’re able to see through it.  I think this whole damn world is fake.” 

 

Before Inuyasha could fully process the implications of that statement, Kagome strode forward and stopped a half-meter in front of him.  She tilted her head and managed a small, strained smile for his benefit. 

 

“Hold onto me,” was all she said, and Inuyasha complied without hesitation.  Whatever Kagome had planned, he trusted her.  Their arms wrapped around each other, their heartbeats still audible despite the storm clouds materializing overhead, this world’s response to the impending doom presently embodied by the form of a petite teenage girl.  Finally reunited, and sharing a warm embrace, they cherished the knowledge that the torments of this artificial world could no longer reach them. 

 

Inuyasha both felt and saw Kagome’s spiritual energy wash over him.  It was not an especially pleasant sensation, but neither was it painful.  It was as though his youki recognized that the tremendous purity of her aura should be toxic, yet somehow it wasn’t.  He wasn’t sure if she was consciously directing her energy, or if his apparent immunity originated on an instinctual level.  In any case, he knew that he was in no danger.  The same could not be said of the world around them.  The blurring he had witnessed intensified, as the weather howled and thrashed in impotent rage.  For neither wind nor rain, nor even strike of lighting could reach them now.  Inuyasha tightened his hold on the woman in his arms and closed his eyes, knowing she would carry them to safety. 

 

Flashes of light appeared behind his eyelids, the spectacular consequence of a world tearing itself asunder.  They grew more intense, building toward a grand climax, until finally all went white, and sound itself gave way to utter emptiness.  An irresistible force pulled him backward, tearing Kagome from his arms, but as unknown power swirled around him it was all he could do to clench his jaw and hope it would be over soon. 

 

* * *

 

Kagome snapped awake in absolute darkness, inhaling a huge breath.  She tried to sit up, but something sticky pulled her back down again.  For a few moments, she could only lie there as a coughing fit overtook her, courtesy of her parched throat and the foul air in this cave.  At least, she assumed it was a cave.  A wave of disgust and fear surged through her, a descent into blind panic prevented only by previous survival experience.  Struggling recklessly against the sticky substance yielded nothing, as she quickly discovered.  It clung to her clothing and exposed skin like glue, and possessed the viscosity of honey.  But she could gradually free herself if she focused on one area of her body at a time.  Her hair was the worst part.  She did what she could to minimize the damage, but her hands were shaking and she was a little lacking in patience at the moment, so she escaped only at the cost of more than a few torn strands. 

 

Finally she was able to rise to her feet, only to sway dizzily and nearly topple over again.  She put a hand to her pounding head and was alarmed at the heat emanating from her skin.  It was roasting hot in here, she realized, and her clothing was soaked with sweat.  But with the humidity so high, her sweat wasn’t evaporating and cooling her skin.  In short, the conditions were rendering her body’s cooling system useless.  That was far from the end of her problems.  A day and a half had passed in the illusion, and it certainly felt as though the same amount of time had passed in the real world.  A day and a half without food or water, spent baking in this natural oven.  It was no wonder she was severely dehydrated and probably on the verge of heatstroke.  So she had two choices now: either get her pulse and respiration under control, or pass out and wind up right back in the sticky shit again. 

 

It took some serious mental discipline, but eventually she was able to accomplish option alpha.  She was still unsteady on her feet, but at least she wasn’t about to lose consciousness again.  Keeping a cool head would also give her the best chance of finding Inuyasha and getting out of here.  The darkness was unnerving even in that state of mind, however, but she didn’t know what she could do about it.  Her non-visual senses couldn’t tell her very much.  Inspiration struck when she summoned her spiritual energy to scan her surroundings, and after some trial and error she soon had her skin radiating a faint glow.  It was not all that different from channeling her energy into an inanimate object, such as an arrow.  The light was not terribly bright, but it was sufficient to see by, and it was simply wonderful to be able to see _anything_ at all. 

 

It was not so wonderful to look down in order to study the sticky substance still clinging to her socks and loafers, only to discover a nearly complete human skeleton lying barely a meter from her.  She stumbled back reflexively, barely maintaining her balance.  Whoever the unfortunate victim was, his or her remains had been resting here for a very long time.  No trace of flesh remained on the bones.  Swallowing, Kagome tore her eyes away and returned to her original purpose.  The mysterious clear substance covered the cave floor, but did not move on its own, nor did it react to purifying energy.  Her spiritual senses also confirmed that it was not alive, which was somewhat of a relief.  Instead, it was probably a secretion from some other creature, likely the same one who had trapped them in the illusion.  Her blood heated to boiling at the reminder, memories of Inuyasha’s odd behavior causing her once again to wonder what tortures he had suffered. 

 

She quickly banished those thoughts and calmed herself once more.  There would be time for anger later; right now she had to find Inuyasha, before her dehydration and the stifling atmosphere caught up with her and she really did collapse from heatstroke.  Since she and Inuyasha had been in the same illusion, their physical bodies had to be in the same cave system, right?  At least, she hoped so.  But then, she didn’t have much else to cling to at this point. 

 

For once, her faith was rewarded.  She sensed Inuyasha’s aura not too far from where she stood, and he was obviously pleased to feel her presence if the way his youki reacted was any indication.  Then he was moving, and Kagome channeled more energy into her skin, knowing the brighter glow would help him find her.  She heaved a deep sigh, and allowed her lips to curl into a relieved smile. 

 

This was the sight which greeted Inuyasha when he reached her a few minutes later, having picked his way through pitch black tunnels until he saw Kagome’s light.  For a moment he wasn’t sure if she was truly glowing or if it was merely a product of his ecstatic imagination. 

 

“Are you all right, Kagome?” he asked, gripped by an irresistible compulsion to hear her voice. 

 

“I’m fine, Inuyasha,” she told him, flashing him one of those heart-stopping smiles of hers.  “What about you?” 

 

Inuyasha frowned, not liking the rasp in her voice.  She appeared to be uninjured, though she was clearly dehydrated and suffering from the heat.  If she stayed in these conditions for too much longer, the situation could become quite serious.  Fortunately, he wasn’t about to let her walk anywhere.  This wasn’t to say that she didn’t possess an important role in expediting their escape. 

 

“Think you can keep up that glow, wench?” 

 

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded.  “Yeah, I think so.” 

 

He turned around and knelt down expectantly, and Kagome happily climbed onto his back.  He freed her feet from the sticky substance as he stood, and not for the first time, the miko found herself jealous of hanyou strength.  Inuyasha marched through the glue-like stuff as though it wasn’t even there.  All it did was force him to pick his feet up higher, so his gait was more of a stomp than a stride.  He stopped after a few paces to study the interior of the cave. 

 

“Any idea how to get out of here?” he inquired, sounding like he expected a negative response.  Kagome bit back her reply as a new thought struck her.  The idea of leaving this mountain immediately hadn’t sat well with her, and she knew why. 

 

“Inuyasha, we can’t leave yet.”

 

“What?  Why the hell not?”

 

“Because we have to find and destroy whatever did this to us.  How many people will it devour if we leave it alone?  It’s probably killed so many already…” 

 

Inuyasha had to admit that her concerns were valid.  In most circumstances, he would be all too happy to take the fight to the enemy, especially one who had so wronged them.  But his anxiety over Kagome’s health kept him from instantly leaping at the chance. 

 

“You sure you’re up for that?” he asked seriously. 

 

“Absolutely,” she replied, the confidence and resolve in her tone surprising him, though he realized that it probably shouldn’t have.  When she set her mind to something, Kagome could be the most determined—or stubborn—person he’d ever met.  And because he sensed that her condition was not in danger of worsening significantly in the immediate future, he eventually decided to go along with her plan for the time being. 

 

“Okay, but I’m carrying you the whole time,” he declared, his tone leaving no room for argument.  Not that Kagome had any intention of asking to be put down any time soon.  He was the one with superhuman stamina, after all. 

 

“Deal.” 

 

“Good.  Can you sense this bastard anywhere?”  A brief silence ensued as Kagome concentrated. 

 

“It’s hard to tell…but I think I sense an evil presence coming from that direction.” 

 

They set off, Inuyasha moving as quickly as he could while still giving them time to react to any unforeseen obstacles or terrain changes.  The light from her spiritual aura cast eerie shadows across the uneven surface of the rock, but she felt completely safe on Inuyasha’s back.  It was thrilling in a way, just the two of them on a mission together.  _The adventures of the hanyou and the human glow stick._   She was glad that Inuyasha was unfamiliar with the modern novelty, or he might actually start calling her that.  After they got out of here, that is.  Neither one of them found much humor in this situation.  Too many emotions churned right below the surface, temporarily masked by grim determination. 

 

The network of tunnels and caverns in this mountain was amazing, she reflected.  They seemed to go on forever, one inevitably leading to an intersection with yet another choice to make.  It was like a giant three-dimensional ant farm.  Kagome wondered if the network had been excavated by some kind of burrowing youkai, but when she asked, Inuyasha replied that he didn’t smell any trace of youkai or animal.  Perhaps a colony of subterranean youkai had flourished here long ago, before the evil entity arrived.  Of course, it was also possible that the evil entity itself had created these tunnels.  They would probably never know for sure. 

 

What they were quickly discovering, however, was that the nasty bastard was incredibly hard to track.  One moment it seemed to be in front of them, but the next time she stretched her spiritual senses, it was behind them or off to the side.  Eventually she was forced to admit that they were getting nowhere. 

 

“Hold up, Inuyasha.” 

 

“We’re going in circles, aren’t we?” he asked, slowing to a halt. 

 

“Sorry…”

 

“Keh.  Just take some time and try to figure it out.” 

 

His subdued and borderline encouraging response surprised Kagome, but this wasn’t the old Inuyasha who would have reamed her out for her perceived incompetence.  He had also undergone some traumatic experiences recently; carrying her on his back had probably been as reassuring for him as it was for her.  So she took his advice, and closing her eyes, turned her entire focus toward her inner miko.  The outside world faded away, though she remained aware of the strong back supporting her and its owner’s steady presence. 

 

Eventually she noticed something odd.  The evil aura was indeed concentrated in one particular location.  Even as she observed, it moved slightly, almost taunting them.  They could chase this thing for days and never even get close to it.  But as she had not previously noticed, that spot was not the only place where the creature’s presence emanated from.  Strands of power extended throughout the mountain, much fainter than the moving epicenter but clearly visible now that she was truly concentrating.  They traced paths down through the rock in every direction, and she decided to pick what felt like the closest strand and head toward it. 

 

She was surprised to find herself in total blackness when she opened her eyes, having been so focused on her senses that she stopped maintaining the luminous manifestation of her aura.  She quickly rectified that oversight. 

 

“Sorry about that.” 

 

“Keh!” Inuyasha scoffed.  “I ain’t afraid of the dark, wench.  You find anything?” 

 

“I think so.  Can you head that way?” 

 

He did so, an extra spring in his step at the prospect of finally making some progress.  Kagome stopped him in a large cavern a few minutes later and slid off his back.  Like the tunnels, this place was blessedly free of the sticky substance, but Inuyasha still hovered right by her side, ready to support her if she so much as wobbled on her feet.  Kagome appreciated the concern, as she was still a bit dizzy.  She led him over to the wall from which the dark presence emanated, the strand of energy easily visible now that she knew what to look for.  She placed her hand on the rock, but the strand was probably a meter or so too deep to reach.  Fortunately, she knew someone who could help her solve that problem.  That is, if she could convince him. 

 

“Are you insane, wench?!” he demanded in response to her proposal.  “You want me to start smashing through solid rock?  Are you _trying_ to start a cave-in?” 

 

“I didn’t say whip out Tetsusaiga and swing it around recklessly!” she retorted.  “You just have to be careful for a change!” 

 

Inuyasha crossed his arms over his chest, his lips quirking into a formidable pout.  “It’s a stupid idea.” 

 

“Maybe, but it’s the only way we’re ever going to destroy this thing.  If I can just reach that tendril of power, I know I can do…something, anyway.”  When Inuyasha only continued to pout, Kagome decided that a change in tactics was in order.  She untangled one of his arms and clasped his hand in hers, causing his eyes to widen. 

 

“Come on, Inuyasha.  Don’t you want to finish this and get out of here?  I wouldn’t describe your style as having much…finesse, most of the time.  But I know you can do it!  I…I trust you.” 

 

The hanyou sputtered and averted his gaze, blushing fiercely.  He yanked his hand out of her grasp, only to stomp over to the wall and roll up his sleeves, muttering all the while about crazy wenches and their equally crazy ideas.  Kagome couldn’t wipe the victorious grin off of her face if she tried.  Inuyasha settled into a stance, claws raised, eyes honed on his target. 

 

“Be ready, Kagome,” he declared solemnly without looking at her.  “If this goes to shit, I’m grabbing you and we’re running like hell.” 

 

Kagome nodded, moving a couple paces closer to him and watching intently as he prepared to strike. 

 

His first attempt was not very forceful, or effective.  He paused afterward, listening carefully for any sign that the cavern’s integrity was weakening.  He repeated this process countless times over the next several minutes, though his strikes did become more powerful as his confidence grew.  Kagome also noticed that he started to use more of his youki as well.  But there was still real finesse in his strikes, as he slowly carved a large opening into the rock, kind of like a reverse sculptor.  Just as she was about to tell him that he appeared to be getting close, a small explosion of dark energy met one of his strikes and caused him to stumble back in shock, smoke rising from his hand. 

 

“Inuyasha!  Are you all right?”  Kagome rushed over and studied his hand, finding burns which would have been fairly serious for a human but which truly were mere ‘flesh wounds’ for the hanyou. 

 

“I think we found that tendril you were talking about,” he observed, staring past her. 

 

Kagome turned to the opening and gasped, the sheer malevolence of this thing sending chills down her spine, now that it was no longer concealed by solid rock.  She could feel the malice thickening in the air around them, causing goose bumps to rise on her skin.  Blacker than the depths of hell it was, like fetid blood oozing through the heart of the mountain.  At once Kagome understood the truth.  This creature was ancient.  It had lurked here for so many hundreds of years that it had become part of the mountain itself.  Perhaps it was youkai, or perhaps it transcended such labels altogether.  However it should be classified, it was the single most evil life form she had ever encountered. 

 

Inuyasha leaned into her from the side, his hand coming to rest on her opposite shoulder.  Accepting the comforting gesture for what it was, Kagome reached up to her shoulder and intertwined their fingers. 

 

“Be careful,” he stated quietly, clearly understanding what she already knew, that this creature was beyond him.  It was likely beyond any youkai; only an equally powerful yet polar opposite force could overcome such malice.  Her purifying energy had already proven its effectiveness against this creature, but was she strong enough to defeat it?  If so, it was going to take everything she had.  Her resolve had to be ironclad, her determination unwavering.  It would require every iota of her desire to protect the innocent.  She would have to relive every painful memory from inside the illusion, every second she had spent contemplating Inuyasha’s own suffering.  She would have to rally all of it together, bring it within her heart and transform it into a power the likes of which she had never wielded before.  She wasn’t sure she could do it.  And even if she could, she wasn’t sure it would be enough. 

 

Inuyasha pulled his hand away from hers, leaving her with an incredible feeling of loneliness.  Then she heard rustling, and familiar fabric came to rest over her shoulders.  She drew his suikan in close, warmed by the residual heat of his body.  He pulled her back against his chest, his arms circling loosely around her, and that warmth spread to every part of her, body and soul.  She crossed her own arms, finding his hands and intertwining their fingers once more.  He rested his chin on her shoulder, and she leaned her head to the side until their foreheads met.  Time seemed to slow, as they shared these few blissful moments together.  But the atmosphere was growing more oppressive by the second, and all too soon their brief utopia had to end. 

 

“We have to destroy this thing, Kagome,” Inuyasha declared grimly.  “If we don’t…no one will.” 

 

Kagome nodded, knowing his choice of pronoun was purposeful.  She was not in this alone; Inuyasha was with her until the bitter end.  She squeezed his hands one last time before pulling away.  His suikan stayed with her, as did his warmth.  Her heart was now as pure and resolute as it was ever going to be.  She was ready. 

 

The black tendril sparked and snapped at her as she approached, but she refused to back down.  There was a hint of something new in the creature’s aura: fear.  She would show this evil bastard that it had every reason to be afraid.  This loathsome monster would never again torment an innocent soul.  She would purify it from this world, or perish in the attempt.  Clenching her jaw, she summoned her power and reached for the tendril with both hands. 

 

A foul wind buffeted her, an unearthly screech reverberating throughout the cavern.  But she struggled on through the dark blizzard, the wicked gale, holding on to the tendril with all of her strength and bathing it in spiritual energy.  Slowly her power overcame the resistance, consuming the evil as it moved along the tendril in both directions.  Purity spread from one strand to another, until the entire network was aflame, and the mountain shook and shivered around them.  She felt Inuyasha’s presence behind her, leaning protectively over her, grunting periodically as he was struck by falling rock.  But there was no going back now; they had crossed the point of no return long ago.  The enemy was coming. 

 

Inuyasha sensed its approach, a dark specter within the mountain, which seemed to glow with Kagome’s aura.  The hair on the back of his neck stood on end, every fiber of his being screaming at him to grab Kagome and run.  But they held their ground, as the very embodiment of death loomed ever closer.  It materialized out of one of the tunnels, a swirling void of malice bearing down on them.  An acrid stench stung his nose, and his ears were filled with the sounds of hundreds of victims, human and youkai alike, wailing in despair.  But for the woman kneeling beneath him, he would be one of those lost souls.  With her by his side, he knew that he was no longer destined to suffer that fate.  He might die before this ended, but he would die as Inuyasha, a flawed hanyou to be sure, but one who Kagome believed in.  And that was all that mattered. 

 

She turned in his arms, tugging on the front of his kosode.  Somehow knowing what she needed from him, he crouched down before her and drew her into his chest.  She returned his embrace tightly, her hands shaking against his back as her power swelled to new heights.  Inuyasha buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply, fully aware that this might be his last chance to experience the subtle aroma of Kagome which he loved.  Then he held his breath and braced himself for the impending cataclysm. 

 

It took every ounce of his strength to withstand the impact of the creature slamming into his back.  It knocked the air from Kagome’s lungs in a rush, though her power managed to keep the insatiable blackness at bay as it surrounded them on all sides.  He heard her gasping, struggling for breath as her pure energy wavered and the monster pressed greedily in on them.  But the air around them had become poison, and no matter how powerful of a miko she was, Kagome was still only human.  Leaning down, Inuyasha found her mouth and pressed his lips against hers.  He kissed her harshly, forcing the contents of his lungs down her throat, giving her what little air he had left.  Then he pulled away, resting his head on her shoulder and leaving the rest to her.  His life was in her hands now.  He was not afraid. 

 

Kagome’s embrace tightened once more, her power bursting to life around them.  Her determined cry mingled with the creature’s agonized shrieks as her purity began to consume its all-encompassing darkness.  It tried to flee, but her aura drew it in bit by bit, refusing to allow an escape.  She cleansed each portion of the creature until nothing remained except faint wisps of white smoke, and then only the epicenter of its malice remained.  With a final effort, Kagome enveloped this greatest source of evil in her power, until at last the creature exploded in purity, bathing the inside of the cavern in blinding light.  Hanyou and miko each inhaled a massive lungful of suddenly decontaminated air, and for a moment there was silence.  Then the cavern began to collapse. 

 

Swearing under his breath, Inuyasha picked up Kagome and sprinted toward the nearest tunnel, barely avoiding the giant chunk of rock which slammed down and sealed the entrance behind them.  Kagome lay limply in his arms throughout, exhausted by her efforts, the light of her aura fading until it was nothing more than the flickering of a candle against the endless night. 

 

“Shit!  Kagome!” he hollered, shaking her without breaking stride.  “You have to keep up that light, or we’re gonna die in here!” 

 

They would probably die anyway, but she didn’t need to know that.  The creature had so deeply embedded itself into the rock, that its sudden destruction had apparently deprived the massive natural structure of the ability to sustain itself.  The entire mountain was coming down on top of them.  Their only chance was to sprint as fast as he could and try to travel in a single direction while praying that the tunnels ahead remained intact.  The odds of their luck holding for that long were miserable at best, but it was better than sitting around and waiting for death.  They had just destroyed what was probably the greatest evil in the whole world, and now they were going to be buried alive?  Screw that.  He wasn’t about to die like that without a fight.  Of course, if Kagome couldn’t light their way, then it didn’t matter how badly he wanted them to survive.  His chances of carrying them to safety in pitch blackness were literally zero. 

 

Kagome didn’t respond, nor did she open her eyes.  But her aura did brighten.  It was not as strong as before, and it continued to flicker dangerously, but it would have to do.  Inuyasha had to use all of his agility to avoid partially collapsed cave walls and keep himself upright when the floor vibrated beneath them.  He skidded to a stop when faced with a dead end, but it came soon after he picked the wrong fork in a tunnel so he was able to backtrack and take the other path.  To his surprise, that was the only dead end they encountered.  After torturing them for the better part of two days, fate finally seemed to be smiling upon him and Kagome.  The tunnels appeared sturdier the farther they moved from scene of the great battle.  But there was still little doubt that the entire mountain was collapsing.  If they didn’t find an exit soon…


	4. My Reason

It came upon them suddenly.  One moment he was running through yet another dark tunnel, and in the next, moonlight mingled with Kagome’s aura to show their way.  He didn’t slow down as they emerged from their would-be tomb and charged down the slope, picking their way around obstacles and avoiding boulders tumbling down from above.  But despite his concentration, Inuyasha couldn’t hold back the genuine smile which came unbidden to his lips.  He and Kagome had escaped almost certain death.  The air was fresh, and the sight of the full moon glowing brightly overhead was nothing short of glorious.  It was good to be alive. 

 

He didn’t dare stop running until they’d reached the edge of the forest growing on the flat ground adjoining the rocky slope.  Tired but ecstatic, he turned back to the mountain and heaved a sigh of relief.  Kagome’s aura vanished abruptly, almost as though she had been subconsciously waiting for some sign that they were out of danger.  Inuyasha’s jovial mood soured in an instant, and he once again swore under his breath.  Kagome’s breathing was shallow, and a quick test of her forehead revealed that she was burning up, to say nothing of her dehydration or how exhausted she must be from using all of that spiritual energy.  He needed to cool her down and get some fluids into her, and he needed to do it quickly.  He couldn’t smell any water sources from here, but if he searched long enough he was sure he would come across something.  With this thought in mind, he turned and sprinted into the forest.  The sounds of the mountain collapsing intensified behind him, but he had no desire to stop and watch the spectacle.  The only thing that had been precious within that mountain was the young woman he had carried out with him. 

 

Inuyasha had only run for a couple kilometers when his nose led him to a tiny forest stream.  Since drinking and cooling Kagome down in there would be a real challenge, he decided to follow it for a bit in the hope that it drained into something more substantial.  Again, fate seemed to be smiling upon them.  The river was perfect.  Easily narrow enough for him to leap in a single bound, it was probably only chest deep.  But the current wasn’t too strong, and he had little doubt that the water was cool.  He waded in clothes and all, still holding Kagome in his arms.  She stirred as soon as he immersed her in the water, shocked into wakefulness by the sudden drop in temperature.  After an experimental sniff, Inuyasha urged his still drowsy companion to drink, which she quickly took to with gusto.  He had to force her to slow down at one point, so she didn’t make herself sick, but he let her drink until she was satisfied.  Finally, Kagome sighed happily and lay back in his arms, smiling contentedly up at him. 

 

“Feeling better, wench?” he teased with a matching grin. 

 

“Yeah,” she replied, her voice still a little raspy but much smoother than before.  “So we made it out alive, huh?” 

 

“Keh.  ‘Course we did.  Nice job back there, by the way.” 

 

Kagome rolled her eyes, her grin turning wry.  “‘Nice job,’ he says…after I purify something so evil it makes Naraku look like saint.” 

 

“It wasn’t _that_ evil,” the hanyou retorted, though the glimmer in his eye told her that he was just messing with her. 

 

“You’re unbelievable,” she told him, far more amused than frustrated by his underwhelming praise. 

 

“Oi, you’re the one who always finds trouble.  I can’t let you out of my sight for a second.” 

 

He obviously meant this as a joke, and Kagome might have taken it as one, if not for the ugly truth hidden beneath his words. 

 

“Kagome?” he asked, obviously confused by her shift in mood. 

 

“You’re right, Inuyasha,” she said quietly.  “It’s my fault you…were in the illusion.  I shouldn’t have let it lure me to the back of the cave…”

 

The hanyou’s eyes widened in alarm.  “That’s not—I mean—don’t be stupid, wench!  It’s not your fault.” 

 

Kagome could tell that his denial was sincere, so she nodded in acceptance.  But it didn’t make her feel much better, or dispel the suddenly subdued atmosphere between them.  Inuyasha looked like he didn’t know what to say, and she didn’t want to say anything at all.  The oppressive silence stretched on for several minutes, as he held her nervously in the middle of the river.  Finally, he spoke. 

 

“Uh…do you want to take a bath?” he asked, his tone indicating that he was trying to cheer her up.  “I know it’s not a hot spring, but…uh…”

 

Despite her misery, Kagome did find some appeal in his suggestion.  Her skin needed to be scrubbed if it was going to come clean, even if it was only by hand, and her clothing was filthy.  Inuyasha seemed encouraged by her nod, and set her on her feet in the river, remaining by her side until he was sure she could handle the current.  Then he waded over to the bank, climbed out and settled against a tree facing the water. 

 

“Can you give me a little privacy?” she snapped, guilt morphing into irritation.  He glared at her and crossed his arms over his chest. 

 

“I’ll close my eyes,” he promised snippily, clearly unwilling to concede anything further. 

 

Kagome’s ire rose at his obstinacy, then abruptly evaporated.  His expression was sullen and stubborn, nothing she hadn’t seen before.  But the look in his eyes made her heart ache.  Inuyasha was afraid.  He didn’t want to let her out of his sight.  Given what he had been through, she could understand why.  It was easy to become so consumed by her own misery, and forget that Inuyasha had demons to exorcise too.  He had his own cruel memories to relive, at least some of which involved something terrible happening to her.  And here she was, taking out her self-loathing on him. 

 

Ashamed, Kagome averted her gaze and began to disrobe without further comment, keeping most of her body under the water.  There wasn’t much for him to see, even if he did try to peek.  She rolled her clothing up into a ball and tossed it in his general direction, then did the same with his suikan, listening as both landed on the bank with a splat.  She had to admit, this had been a good idea on Inuyasha’s part.  It felt great just to remove her soiled clothing, and scrubbing her skin left her feeling like a human again for the first time in two days.  Most of all, she was glad that Inuyasha was here, watching over her.  She didn’t really want him to leave her sight either. 

 

She eventually dared a glance in his direction, and found him gazing up at the moon through the canopy.  She cringed, able to tell even from her position how uncomfortable he was.  _Inuyasha was in that hot cave just as long as I was, and he did a hell of a lot more running.  He must feel as disgusting as I did._   But she really didn’t want to get out yet, and after grappling with teenage butterflies for a bit, she settled on an alternate idea.  With everything they had been through, sharing such an innocent level of intimacy didn’t seem so outlandish. 

 

“Inuyasha?” 

 

“I’m not moving, wench,” he declared crossly, clearly expecting another argument.   

 

“No, no…I was just going to ask…if you wanted to join me?” 

 

Inuyasha looked at her as though she had sprouted another head, and Kagome could have slapped herself for her poor word choice.  _Great job, baka, make it sound perverted so he’ll_ definitely _get scared off._  

 

“Wh-what I _meant_ was…do you want to take a bath too?” 

 

He studied her for a moment, then snorted.  “I’ll pass, wench.” 

 

Kagome recognized his refusal as one borne of embarrassment, so she decided to try one more time. 

 

“It’s okay, Inuyasha.  I know you probably feel miserable too, sitting up there all sweaty and dirty.  I really don’t mind if you want to come in.  It feels great to wash off and cool down.” 

 

She was proud of herself for finishing her statement without any stutters or hesitations.  As a result, Inuyasha seemed to take her offer seriously for the first time.  His gaze bored into hers, searching for any sign that she was being anything less than truthful, that she really didn’t mind bathing with him, the hanyou who had once again failed to protect her.  It was ridiculous for him to feel that way, but she knew him, and she would bet anything that his mind had been turning in that direction.  Hopefully her gesture of reconciliation would do both of them a lot of good.  Inuyasha either shared that hope, or he truly did desire a bath, because he slowly stood and began unfastening the ties to his hakama, keeping his eyes locked with hers the entire time.  Eventually Kagome realized that he was waiting for her to look away, and she spun around with an intense blush staining her cheeks.  She waded toward the opposite bank, not turning back until well after she heard Inuyasha enter the water. 

 

To her surprise, she found him washing not himself, but his clothing.  It made sense; why put dirty clothes on a clean body, especially when the garments were already wet from earlier?  _If I was smart, I would have done the same._   Inuyasha squeezed each article dry and tossed it onto the bank, then proceeded to scrub himself in equally businesslike fashion.  He surprised her again when he remained in the river afterwards instead of immediately getting out, settling into a relaxed, half-standing, half-floating posture.  His expression, however, was not relaxed.  His jaw clenched, clear evidence of considerable tension, and his golden eyes seemed to dull, taking on a troubled, faraway appearance.  He was obviously no longer in the river with her. 

 

Seeing this soon caused Kagome’s own thoughts to drift back to the events of the past two days.  Was she glad that none of it really happened?  Of course she was.  But at the same time, she knew she would never be able to brush it off as ‘merely’ an illusion.  Because to her, it wasn’t.  The memories of what she had seen and done would remain with her until the day she died.  The sickening squelch of the spear embedding in that poor boy’s throat, the sounds he made as he struggled through his final throes.  And later, the sight of the bandit lying on the ground, one eye destroyed by her arrow and the other widened in the irreversible emptiness of death.  A sudden chill passed through her, and she hugged herself, running her hands over her arms for warmth. 

 

Again, logic said that she was being foolish.  After all, that bandit had been fully intent on raping her, and then probably killing her afterwards.  From a legal and moral perspective, her actions were fully justified by self-defense.  If one of her school friends had been through something similar, that was exactly what she would be telling them.  But it was different to actually be the killer, to know that she had taken someone’s life by her hand.  It wasn’t so easy to brush it off as justifiable self-defense, not when she saw the man’s ruined face every time she closed her eyes.  Not when she heard the poor boy’s coughing and gurgling echoing in the silence of the night.  She had learned two things about herself over the past twelve hours, two separate circumstances under which she would take a life.  And she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. 

 

It would take time, she reflected.  Probably a lot of time.  Judging by his continued silence, Inuyasha was not going to overcome his own demons very quickly either.  Was that okay?  Would she learn to cope with this eventually, or would it slowly drive her mad?  The uncertainty was downright frightening.  Another shiver passed through her, this one making the water ripple audibly around her. 

 

“Cold?” 

 

Inuyasha’s softly uttered question startled her, and it took her a few moments to truly comprehend what he was asking.  At her hesitant nod, he stood and began wading toward the bank, forcing Kagome to avert her gaze for propriety’s sake.  That didn’t prevent her from noticing the fresh spark of life in his eyes.  Was it simply from having a task to complete?  Maybe that was the key to coping with their experiences.  If they focused on taking care of each other, would the rest work itself out in the end?  It was clear that Inuyasha’s desire to protect and care for her had not waned in the slightest, and she knew that she felt the same about him.  It was an encouraging realization, one which gave her some small measure of hope. 

 

Once she was sure that Inuyasha was no longer nude, Kagome settled back to watch him work.  He was topless, not having bothered with anything more than his hakama.  Not that she minded.  Her head might not be in a great place right now, but Inuyasha was still very attractive.  When he wasn’t trying to posture and put on a tough act, he could move with this incredible natural grace which never failed to captivate her.  Even the simple act of gathering wood and kindling for a fire exuded a certain beauty, his movements efficient and fluid.  The gesture was touching as well.  An experimental lift of her arm revealed that if she was cold in the water, she would be even colder once she stepped out of it.  Emerging to a warm, waiting fire sounded very nice indeed. 

 

Said fire took Inuyasha a little time to get started, forced as he was to use a friction-based method instead of matches.  But his hands were well-practiced from his youth, and his superhuman stamina probably helped as well.  Soon enough, he had a good-sized campfire going.  He used tree branches to hang his suikan and kosode near the flames to dry, the former closer than the latter because he knew it wouldn’t catch on fire.  While they were drying, he stood close to the flames himself, periodically turning himself so that his hakama dried also.  Kagome was sure that none of it was perfect, but he was in little danger of becoming sick or developing a rash from damp clothing.  The reason for his efforts didn’t become clear to her until he walked back over to the riverbank, his kosode and suikan draped over an arm. 

 

“Inuyasha, can you toss me my clothes?” 

 

He furrowed his brow.  “What for?” 

 

“Um…so I can wash them and squeeze them out,” she replied, trying not to reveal how obvious she thought the answer should have been.  _What, does he expect me to walk around naked?_

 

“Keh.  I figured you’d just wear my suikan.” 

 

Kagome blinked in surprise.  She had honestly never expected Inuyasha to verbally propose something like that.  Usually he just gave it to her, like in the cavern earlier.  Most of the time it functioned as a form of protection in dangerous situations, rather than an article of clothing to cover her nakedness.  While it was true that she had worn it in that capacity as well, that had also been in dire circumstances.  Once she got over her surprise, however, she realized it was a great idea.  The heavy fabric would retain body heat much better than her thin cotton blouse, and he had already done a careful job of drying it.  Now she knew why he had seemed to fuss over the suikan a little more than his other articles of clothing.  Her heart warmed at the thought. 

 

“I-is that…okay?” he asked, failing to conceal his nervousness.  Realizing that her silence must have spooked him, Kagome hurried to provide reassurance. 

 

“Of course!  Thank you, Inuyasha.  I really appreciate it.”  That earned a slight blush from the hanyou, but her words had obviously pleased him as well. 

 

“Yeah, well…thanks for letting me take a bath.” 

 

“Sure,” Kagome replied, knowing that one case of generosity was not necessarily quid pro quo for the other.  Inuyasha was simply taking care of her like he always did, though he did tend to be more open about it when the two of them were alone.  He had no idea how much it meant to her.  She loved him for the small gestures of affection which nevertheless revealed the strength of his feelings. 

 

Small gestures such as holding his kosode open for her like a towel as she stepped out of the river.  His face was flushed red and he kept his eyes screwed shut the entire time, almost as though he had to force himself not to look.  Kagome quashed that admittedly pleasant thought rather quickly, deciding that she was reading too much into his facial expression.  She hurried to dry off, both to limit her embarrassment and the chilling effects of damp skin meeting cool air.  She was eternally grateful for the fire-warmed suikan, which she fastened around herself in much the same manner as she had on that fateful night in Togenkyo, ending up with something of a short-sleeved robe which didn’t cover that much less of her than her school uniform did. 

 

“Okay, you can open your eyes now,” she told Inuyasha, grinning in amusement.  He glanced at her, from head to toes and back again, nodding in satisfaction before turning away.  That was a pretty neutral gesture on its face, but Kagome didn’t miss the delighted glimmer in his eye, or the slight upturn at the corner of his lips.  If she didn’t know better, she might think he liked seeing her wearing his clothes, at least in non-life threatening situations.  Good thing she knew better.  Now if she could just get her heart to stop beating so hard…

 

“Gonna stand out in the cold all night, wench?” he called casually back to her, which actually helped her solve her little problem. 

 

“Baka,” she muttered, nevertheless grinning merrily as she jogged toward the fire. 

 

The warmth from the flames was wonderful, lending itself to twin good moods and a brief yet amicable conversation.  Inuyasha offered to go hunting, but again Kagome sensed that he really didn’t want to leave her side right now, so she declined.  She was starving, but she could make it until morning, when Inuyasha might be able to catch some fish in the river.  They discussed what might have become of their friends, and eventually decided that the others were probably camping for the night, having likely conducted a futile search for their missing comrades over the past two days.  Kagome felt bad for worrying them, but neither she nor Inuyasha felt up to looking for them in the middle of the night.  The reunion could wait until tomorrow as well.  That settled, the pair lapsed into companionable silence.  Inuyasha propped himself up against a tree close to the fire and closed his eyes, though Kagome knew he wasn’t asleep.  Her thoughts kept drifting to the recent past, as she sat facing the fire with her arms locked around her raised knees.  But she found herself less prone to despair and more inclined to optimism this time.  The prospect of moving forward didn’t seem quite so daunting anymore. 

 

Eventually fatigue caught up with her and she decided to try to get some sleep.  It didn’t take her long to realize how difficult that was going to be.  The rough ground was a poor mattress, and she had nothing to use as a pillow.  Not to mention the fact that the fire only warmed one side of her, leaving her back exposed to the chilly night air.  She glared jealously over at Inuyasha, knowing that a tree at her back would be better than nothing.  But it was far too small for two people to share, and she was too nice to ask him to move.  She didn’t really want the tree anyway.  What she _really_ wanted was…something which would never happen.  Bathing at opposite sides of a river and wearing his suikan were one thing, but her delusional mind’s latest proposal would undoubtedly prove too much for her easily embarrassed hanyou.  Kikyou had passed on, and at times Kagome felt somewhat hopeful about her own relationship with Inuyasha, but she refused to guilt him into something he wasn’t ready for. 

 

Heaving a miserable sigh, she settled on her side and resolved to suffer in silence.  So she was understandably surprised when, a few minutes later, Inuyasha spoke. 

 

“Can’t sleep?” 

 

“I’m fine,” she grumbled, willing him to drop the subject.  Since he wasn’t going to help her in the way her lovesick heart desired, the least he could do was not bother her.  For several moments, he seemed to acquiesce to her unspoken demand. 

 

“Kagome…are you cold?” 

 

Something about his tone immediately perked Kagome’s interest.  It was in his hesitation, the slightly lowered timbre of his voice, and the way he stared searchingly into her eyes.  Even his decision to use her name rather than ‘wench’ spoke volumes to her.  If his body language was casual, it was merely a façade.  Some of her most cherished memories had occurred in the rare instances when Inuyasha became like this, when he truly spoke from the heart.  He had her full attention, a fact which obviously made him uncomfortable, but the glint of determination in his eyes suggested that he wasn’t going to back down until he said what he needed to say.  Or so Kagome thought, anyway.  Inuyasha opened his mouth twice, but each time seemed to lose his nerve at the last moment.  Finally he set his lips into a neutral expression and fixed her with a final, penetrating stare.  Then he turned his gaze to the flames, unfolded his legs, and settled back against the tree with his knees raised, his forearms resting upon them. 

 

It was an invitation if Kagome had ever seen one.  A nervous, subtle invitation, one which he could easily pretend had never been offered if it was not accepted.  Instantly Kagome understood how significant this was to him.  This wasn’t sharing body heat out of necessity.  She wasn’t freezing; she was just uncomfortable.  He could easily leave her alone for the next several hours, satisfied that he had already provided a fire and something for her to wear.  Earlier in their journey, he undoubtedly would have.  So he wasn’t making this offer as her protector, or even as her friend.  In Inuyasha’s mind, this was something shared by lovers alone.  Kagome doubted he had done this with anyone before, not even Kikyou.  Even without saying the words, he was leaving himself so vulnerable right now.  That he trusted her with his vulnerability, and cared enough about her to offer himself in this way, was nothing short of incredible. 

 

Blinking back tears, Kagome raised herself onto her hands and knees, a move which had Inuyasha’s eyes snapping back to her.  She held his gaze as she slowly crawled closer, giving him every opportunity to reconsider, silently asking him if this was really all right.  She wasn’t completely sure what this meant to him, in terms of their relationship, but she knew what it meant to her.  Maybe Inuyasha understood that as well.  He swallowed anxiously several times, but did not look away, nor close off his posture.  Their eyes remained locked until finally Kagome crawled between his raised knees and settled herself against his chest, her cheek resting against his cloth-covered breastbone.  She curled her legs up, and Inuyasha drew his knees in so the billowing fabric of his hakama sheltered her exposed skin.  His arms settled hesitantly around her in the lightest of embraces, the sleeves of his kosode further shielding her from the outside world. 

 

A contented sigh escaped Kagome, as she beamed uncontrollably.  Being cossetted by Inuyasha’s body quickly chased away the cold and replaced it with a wonderful warmth, the kind which both fulfilled her and left her yearning for more.  She couldn’t help but recall the truly breathtaking kiss they had shared in the illusion.  Or inside the mountain, for that matter, though that one had been less about romance than providing her with oxygen.  Still, she truly was content even if she and Inuyasha simply remained like this in silence for the rest of the evening.  He didn’t need to do anything else to make her deliriously happy.  She closed her eyes and snuggled closer, releasing another blissful sigh.  The nervous tension left Inuyasha’s body gradually, though her obvious pleasure seemed to do much to ease his anxiety.  Eventually she felt him relax completely beneath her, his arms tightening around her just slightly.  Part of her wanted to stay awake and savor every moment of this, since who knew when it might happen again?  She did figure sleep would claim her at some point, which was fine because she fully expected to find herself still nestled against his chest when she woke up. 

 

Kagome’s world narrowed to her and her hanyou.  Surrounded by the warmth of his body and his clean, woodsy scent, she lost all track of time.  She was just starting to nod off when Inuyasha suddenly shifted, sitting up and urging her to do the same.  Kagome complied, blinking at him in confusion as he frowned and fixed his gaze somewhere below her eyes.  Understanding didn’t dawn until he gently lifted her chin with his fingers, his expression turning to one of relief as he studied her neck.  She tilted her head to the side and favored him with an endearing look, one which had him flopping back against the tree and glancing away in embarrassment. 

 

“Don’t worry, Inuyasha.  The wounds I received in the illusion stayed in the illusion.”  _The physical wounds, anyway,_ she reflected with a grimace.  Inuyasha didn’t reply for a few seconds, and she was about to lie back down again when he finally spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. 

 

“Part of me…still can’t believe this is real.  I…I’m…”

 

Afraid. 

 

Kagome didn’t need him to finish his sentence; she could see the doubt in his eyes, the familiar fear which she too had grappled with.  She supposed some small part of her was still grappling with it.  But that was only in her mind.  In her heart, and in her soul, she knew the truth.  And so did Inuyasha.  She reached out and cupped his cheek, turning him to face her. 

 

“Look at me, Inuyasha,” she commanded gently, successfully drawing his distressed gaze.  “I know how you feel.  A part of me shares your doubts.  But deep down, I know you’re my Inuyasha.  Just like deep down, I think you know I’m…your Kagome.” 

 

His eyes widened at her choice of words, but if anything he seemed humbled by them, as the doubt slowly faded from his eyes.  The emotion which replaced it caused Kagome’s heart to flutter, and for a fleeting moment she thought he was going to kiss her again.  Then he seemed to think better of it, his eyes darkening once more with fresh pain, persistent memory.  Nevertheless, he did manage a small yet sincere smile for her. 

 

“Thanks, wench.” 

 

His oh-so-typical response might have amused Kagome, had the reminder of his suffering not immediately soured her own mood.  Her guilt suddenly weighed too heavily on her to muster a smile, and instead a new compulsion arose within her. 

 

“Inuyasha, I’m so, _so_ sorry.  I shouldn’t have wandered off by myself, even inside the cave.  I guess I really am—”

 

“Oi!” he snapped suddenly, interrupting her self-deprecation.  His anger surprised her, as did the fire in his eyes. 

 

“I already told you, wench.  That ain’t your fault,” he repeated, clearly of the opinion that she was stupid for even entertaining those thoughts. 

 

“Well you should,” she retorted, clinging to her guilt like some sort of perverse lifeline. 

 

“Oh, yeah, I suppose I should,” he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.  “You should have known that the fucking back wall of the cave was gonna turn into a gaping hole, and suck us to who the hell knows where?  And that there was some kind of evil bastard on the other side, waiting to stick us in an illusion.  ‘Cause that kind of shit happens every day, right?  Yeah, you should have _known_.” 

 

“Don’t talk to me like I’m an idiot, Inuyasha,” she growled, unwilling to take that from him, remorse or no. 

 

“Well then don’t _act_ like an idiot, Ka-Go-Me.” 

 

“Jerk!” 

 

“Bitch!” 

 

‘The word’ was on the tip of her tongue, but the selfish realization that utilizing the subduing command in this position might result in more pain for her than for him made her pause just long enough for higher reasoning to kick in.  What the hell was happening?  _Did I really just go from apologizing to smashing his face into the ground in less than a minute?_   That was the incredible infuriating power of Inuyasha, she reflected.  Obviously she had the same effect on him.  And judging by his expression, he now shared her reaction to their unexpected fight. 

 

“Shit,” he mumbled, gazing at her almost sheepishly.  An apology did not pass his lips, but it did shine in his eyes. 

 

“Yeah,” she agreed.  Suddenly looking at him grew too awkward to bear, so she started to lie down, only to hesitate briefly as she wondered if it was still okay with him.  He actually pulled her down the rest of the way, apparently thrilled to resume their previous position.  Things _had_ been much more peaceful before they started talking, and both of them were content to return to silence for a time.  But they knew that they would eventually have to confront the issues hanging in the air; it was only a question of who would open their mouth first.  To Kagome’s surprise, that person turned out to be her shy hanyou, probably because he still felt the need to get something important off of his chest. 

 

“You know I really don’t blame you, right?  You shouldn’t blame yourself either.” 

 

His words partially thawed the knot of ice growing in her gut.  She wasn’t sure if she was ready to truly accept what he was telling her, but his reassurance meant the world to her nonetheless. 

 

“Besides,” he continued, his voice lowering with what sounded like shame.  “If there’s anyone to blame, it’s me.  I should have realized it was an illusion.” 

 

Kagome sat up enough to glare at him.  “Don’t be stupid, Inuyasha.  I didn’t realize it was an illusion either.  Not until we met.” 

 

“Yeah, but you’re not a hanyou,” he replied defensively.  “I noticed some signs, but ignored them.” 

 

“I may not be a hanyou, but I _am_ a miko, and traditionally those with spiritual power are supposed to be better against illusions anyway, right?” 

 

Inuyasha opened his mouth to argue, but Kagome cut him off, already tired of playing the blame game. 

 

“Inuyasha, I don’t want to do this anymore.  You’re telling me that nothing is my fault, but you want to blame yourself.  And I’m trying to do just the opposite.  Can we just agree that what happened was no one’s fault and leave it at that?” 

 

The hanyou didn’t appear especially excited about her proposal, but after a few seconds he reluctantly nodded his agreement. 

 

“Fucking bastard,” he swore, venting some of his frustration on their recently vanquished enemy.  “What the hell was all that about, anyway?  All that illusion bullshit just to so it could eat us.  Stupid fucking…”

 

Kagome tuned out his expletive-ridden mutterings at this point, but not before his statement concerning the creature’s motivations registered.  For some reason, Inuyasha’s assumption that the creature simply wished to eat them didn’t sit right with her.  She hadn’t yet taken the time to consider all of the facts and form a hypothesis, but now was a good opportunity to do so.  There was so much to ponder, so many factors to weigh, but she took to her task with determination.  Inuyasha eventually fell silent, as seconds turned to minutes, and he evidently chose not to disturb his miko companion’s obvious concentration.  That was probably a smart move on his part.  Kagome considered and reconsidered until her brain hurt, but in the end she arrived at what she thought was a plausible explanation. 

 

“I think I know why that thing attacked us, Inuyasha,” she whispered quietly, cuddling closer to his chest as a sudden chill came over her.  To think about how close the creature had come to succeeding…  Her hanyou’s arms tightened around her, and she knew she had his full attention.  Inuyasha wanted the truth, as terrifying as it might be, and she was going to oblige. 

 

“You were right that the creature wanted to eat us,” she began, “but not in the typical sense.  If it wanted to devour our bodies, it could have done it while we were unconscious.  I also saw…a complete human skeleton lying near me, as if the body had been left to decompose where it fell.  So I don’t think it was after our flesh.  I think it was after…our souls.” 

 

“Our souls?” Inuyasha interjected, sounding confused but not skeptical of her reasoning. 

 

“And not our souls as they were when it pulled us through the cave wall, either.  If it wanted that, it could have just sucked them out while we were unconscious.  Instead, it put us in the illusion.  I think it wanted to feed on corrupted souls.  Maybe it was unable to devour pure, strong souls, or maybe it didn’t like the taste.  I don’t know.  But that’s the only reason I can think of for it to put us in the illusion.  I think that’s why it made us see and do those horrible things…and why it tried to make us give up on life…”

 

Inuyasha digested this information in silence for some time.  Kagome closed her eyes and waited for his response, letting his heartbeat soothe her. 

 

“It almost worked, too,” he confessed quietly.  “Twice.” 

 

“Same here,” Kagome admitted.  “And then, when trying to make me give up didn’t work, it confronted me with an impossible decision.  It forced me to choose between dying by your hand…”

 

“Or killing me and saving yourself,” Inuyasha finished solemnly.  The confirmation that he had experienced a similar test did not surprise Kagome, but it did sadden her.  Then a new thought occurred to her, and a tentative smile came unbidden to her lips.  This was taking the phrase ‘finding a silver lining’ to a new extreme, but the silver lining was there all the same. 

 

“I think if either one of us had chosen to save ourselves, we would have lost our way…and our souls.  It’s nice to know that even with all of the horrors we experienced, even with how terrified we were at the time, you and I…we still cared for each other enough to put each other before ourselves.” 

 

“Keh,” Inuyasha muttered.  Kagome could hear the grin in his tone.  When he spoke again, however, his voice had shifted completely. 

 

“Of course I put you before myself.  I promised that I would protect you with my life, didn’t I?” 

 

Kagome froze in shock, a profound sense of déjà vu settling over her.  She had heard him make that promise before, in that same deep, intense tone.  _The last time I was home…Inuyasha and I were in my room…and Souta interrupted us right before we…_  

 

She sat up slowly, turning to meet his gaze.  His eyes were that same shade of molten gold, churning with desires of the present and promises of tomorrow.  He leaned forward, his lips parting slightly.  She met him halfway. 

 

The collision of their lips was a heady, intoxicating thing.  Kagome sensed their mutual inexperience, the slight awkwardness of their movements, but an irresistible fervor burgeoned within them, sparked by the most delightful yearning.  Questing for more of that feeling, she deepened the kiss, relishing in Inuyasha’s startled moan.  His voice quickly dropped into a growl, sending a shiver of pure pleasure coursing through her.  He returned her passion eagerly, his arms encircling her body and holding her to him so tightly, as if he never wanted to let go.  Nor did she want him to.  His lips were her balm, her sweet torment, simultaneously scorching and soothing as they continued to devour each other.  She accepted everything he was willing to give, silently encouraging him to throw down what remained of the crumbling walls around his heart once and for all.  At last, he sighed and surrendered completely, his kiss softening, taking on a new passion.  It was enough to bring tears to her eyes. 

 

Perhaps sensing the tiny droplets, Inuyasha pulled away from her slowly, with obvious reluctance.  Kagome started to reassure him that her tears were borne of joy, but his eyelids raised to reveal those breathtaking golden orbs, and her tongue was instantly paralyzed.  He knew.  Inuyasha understood everything, comprehended all that was in her heart.  His irises were a tempest, a torrent of emotion, hiding nothing from her searching gaze.  Kagome’s lip quivered as an uncontrollable smile formed.  This.  This was what she had been waiting for, ever since she first realized her feelings for the temperamental hanyou many months ago.  As he gazed at her for the first time without any invisible barriers standing between them, Kagome saw what she had always hoped was there.  For shining like a beacon amid the simmering desire, there was love.  Pure and adoring, it transcended both friendship and the need to protect.  It triumphed over the residual sadness for the fate of his former love, a sadness which Kagome knew would never truly go away.  But that was only a small part of the man she loved.  What shone forth now, nearly blinding in its intensity, was something which he had concealed within himself, locked away so deep that only recently had he truly comprehended its existence, or understood what it meant.  There was a promise in his eyes.  He might not always be open with his affections.  He might be gruff, or behave callously at times.  But he would never again try to hide how he felt about her, either from her, or from himself. 

 

He was not going to say the words, Kagome realized.  Perhaps he didn’t know how, or perhaps he simply wasn’t ready.  She had always imagined them confessing together, and perhaps that would come later, but in this moment it simply wasn’t necessary.  She did, however, desire to reaffirm a promise.  As Inuyasha had already discovered, vows made earlier in their journey together could mean so much more when spoken now. 

 

“I’ll always be with you, Inuyasha.” 

 

The hanyou grinned, recognizing her words as the promise which had sparked their near-kiss in her bedroom.  If he hadn’t comprehended the totality of her meaning back then, he clearly did now. 

 

“Kagome,” he murmured, ducking his head and kissing her again.  This one remained chaste, an expression purely of love.  They spent several minutes exploring each other, their kisses alternately playful and passionate.  Finally one of them recognized the light of the approaching dawn.  Inuyasha carried them up into a tree, and they watched a beautiful sunrise together. 

 

“So…” he hedged quietly, drawing Kagome’s attention.  “Will you be all right?” 

 

Kagome found his choice of words telling indeed.  Not ‘are you all right now,’ but ‘will you be all right’ eventually?  The answer to that question was fairly clear.  Despite the fresh, poignant memories, despite her persistent doubts concerning her own actions, it was immensely comforting to be with someone who loved her, to know that he understood what she was going through.  Perhaps she would never share with him exactly what had occurred in the illusion, or ever learn what Inuyasha had gone through, for that matter.  That was fine.  Some secrets were better kept inside, provided that they did not fester and poison from within.  As long as Inuyasha was by her side, Kagome knew they never would. 

 

“I think so,” she replied confidently.  “What about you?” 

 

Gradually his features morphed into a tentative smile.  “Yeah, I think so too.” 

 

Kagome’s reply was cut off by a cavernous yawn, prompting Inuyasha to move them over to a different branch.  He settled against the trunk, using the tree’s bulk to shield his beloved’s face from the sun, and firmly ordered her to get some sleep.  Kagome didn’t argue, instead settling down in his embrace.  She was asleep within moments. 

 

Inuyasha couldn’t seem to take his eyes from her sleeping face for more than a few seconds, as a hundred emotions rushed through him.  Giddiness swirled within his heart along with fear and embarrassment, but above all rose true happiness.  No matter what became of them, he would never regret this day, this new understanding between them.  Someday soon he would tell her what she meant to him.  He supposed he had always known, to some degree.  But losing her and then miraculously getting her back had brought an unprecedented sense of clarity to his heart.  Simply put, Kagome was his reason, the one and only thing in his life worth living for.  He loved their other friends, but they were not enough to anchor him to this world.  Kagome was everything.  As long as he had her, he would possess the strength to stand, to fight for what he loved.  Without her…

 

He shuddered, causing her to stir her sleep.  He held his breath until she stilled, his spirits quickly souring.  He really had almost lost her.  And when he thought her dead, he had done unspeakable things.  He couldn’t even blame his inner beast this time.  His full-youkai side had not possessed him; he had merely allowed rage and hatred to drive him to mass murder, butchering indiscriminately until all were slain, both the guilty and the innocent. 

 

He had to be a better man than that.  If he killed evil people for legitimate reasons, such as to prevent them from committing atrocities in the future, then so be it.  But it couldn’t be for revenge…or because he enjoyed it.  And if there were truly innocent people, then he had to spare them, no matter how much he desired to simply shred everyone and bathe in their blood.  The monster who had slaughtered those mercenaries was unworthy of the woman currently sleeping in his arms.  The man he vowed to become would be worthy of her.  She, who looked past all exterior faults and judged a person by the contents of his heart, would never be given cause to doubt that he was a good man. 

 

The healing journey would be long and arduous, despite their newfound understanding.  Kagome obviously had her own demons to conquer, and he knew that he would spend many waking moments reflecting upon his own actions, and how he could make sure they never became reality.  But he had been honest before; he truly did believe that both of them would eventually be all right.  Together, they would overcome. 

 

Together.  That thought was more exhilarating than scary, but his anxieties would probably linger for a while.  This was something new, and if his track record was any indication, he would probably say something stupid pretty soon.  That wouldn’t be the last time either; he might end up spending more time in Kagome’s dog house than in her good graces.  If she expected him to start declaring his love for her for all the world to hear like that mangy wolf Kouga, then she would be disappointed.  Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but smirk at the prospect of rubbing that arrogant prick’s nose in it.  Would she ‘osuwari’ him?  Probably.  Would it be worth it?  Hell yes.   

 

Perhaps he was worrying too much.  Kagome knew him, sometimes better than he knew himself.  Maybe she wouldn’t expect his demeanor to change very much when they were in the company of others.  She had always lived for the quiet moments, the small gestures of affection which he only dared to show when no one was looking.  Most of the time, they would have to behave like professionals on a mission.  But when they were alone, when the relentless pressures of the world eased and allowed a few moments of peace, she would undoubtedly look to take advantage of the opportunity to reinforce the strength of their bond.  And that would be when he had to prove what kind of man he was going to be. 

 

Said reassurance would likely involve kissing.  A lot of kissing.  And that was a great motivation to stray outside of his comfort zone.  He could be at least a _little_ romantic, right?  How hard could it be? 

 

He gazed down at her sleeping visage, brushed a stray lock of hair away from her eyes.  She smiled in her sleep and snuggled further into him.  A bright grin lit up Inuyasha’s features as he leaned his head back against the trunk and closed his eyes, simply basking in this moment, the knowledge that the woman in his arms was finally his. 

 

_Kagome…my reason…_

 

 

The End


End file.
